This day…3 years back I was rushed to the emergency in a Critical situation for the first time. I remember it clearly as it was 1st Day of Eid-ul-Azha.
This was the first time I saw what ER actually looks like…and it was me who had to be taken there… my doctors had inform them about my situation beforehand so they knew what to do.
This was the time I was given an injection and it reacted…got to know it had to be diluted and then given through an iv drip..the first iv drip of my life!
This day I got to know I have extremely thin veins…there are just 2 of them that can be safely pricked….without hurting beyond my tolerance… that too with expert hand..
I always knew I had serious fear of needles and sharp object…but thin veins was brand new information..
I was blessed to have good doctors and nurses around.
I didn’t even know it’s autoimmune … until that point they were treating it as an infection, the inflammation could damage a nerve and that was what they were trying to stop at any cost.
Sounds scary isn’t it??
Well… then the whole life changed… things never could be the same..
Eids don’t excite me anymore…I maybe very wrong saying this but God knows us and our intensions… these days make me feel helpless…defeated..
I don’t like going out on new year’s eve… new years in UAE fills the sky with confetti and fireflies…amazing fireworks…but I stopped going…once I went I had an anxiety attack and I was crying in the car when rest of the friends were awkwardly trying to enjoy the fireworks…never went after that..
It always makes me feel….one more year wasted!!!
One more year taken away from me by an illness…
one more year passed in waiting to get better..
I did dress up and prayed.. then I switched back to my pajamas and laptop life…
Just now realized for rest of the world it’s still the same…so sent greetings to friends and family…
I don’t know..
I don’t know how to end this post.
I just don’t feel right today.
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