Too Courageous??

Wow!

Well done WordPress!

Just when I am cursing myself for being all too Courageous, you start scratching my wounds again!

Wow…just wow!!

well..

People. Lets talk!

I m confused. Well I don’t know a day when I wasn’t

So, I am one of those people who live on the opposite ends of resister.

Either black or white.

Yes or no.

Either I just shut myself or I just explode suddenly and start shoving book of my life in peoples’ faces..

We anxiety people are like that I guess..

We cant calm down.

When we feel something we feel it with terrifying intensity.. I cant even put it in words.. its maddening..

And then if we are expressive thats another problem..

We can’t hold back..

Its just almost impossible to NOT say something.

Sometimes I want to seal my mouth with duct tape and wrap my fingers with it so I dont say or write anything..

Blunt and mad is a deadly combo.

But is it wrong??

I mean, what’s the point in holding back?? Can you be at peace with yourself if you dont let out what your are feeling.

I know what are you guys going to say…find the balance..right guys??

But what if we can’t??

Either I let my emotions build up and kill me or I just blurt out everything and embarrass myself..

Its a lose-lose situation..

You know it’s useful when you are studying or working or doing anything productive..then its all about passion and it help you achieving your goals.

But if you let your brain wander in the kingdoms of dreams..you are in trouble already..

Dreams..

Thats where all problems happen.

But can you stop your brain?? Or can you tame your brain??

I know so many people who are so closed I dont know how they do it..they have got to teach me!

All of these are just curse or perks of being impulsive.

I have always been like this. Some say I am just lively but I know how weird it gets when after an explosion I sit back and contemplate and then I conclude maybe it wasn’t worth it.

Maybe if I was a little more patient a little more collected, sane, I could have avoided alot of problems.

There is this huge fireball in my head that just cant be cooled.

I don’t hurt people but I realize sometimes I am a little..err..scary??

U know sam says I cannot be left on my own..

And my sibling’s favorite phrase for me is “don’t panic!”

with time and losses I toned down a little..

but I am wide awake again.

its like being unchained after decades..its scary..

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15 thoughts on “Too Courageous??

Add yours

  1. Anxiety is indeed a manic sensation…swinging from one polarity to another, no middle ground, no in-between…extreme highs and lowest of the lows…such a challenge! But never give up…it can be beautiful, the intense emotions, look at the positive, you can feel more than some,,,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You said yourself. Have a patience and know when to pull back for balancing the things in your life. You must learn on how to enjoy instead overthink your problems and make them bigger than they originally are. You need a bit more stoicism in your life and that can be a good thing. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am you. I definitely can’t learn what balance is. It is mainly because of parents and our surroundings from whom we learn to be impulsive. I try a lot to be patient. My difficult task is to decide whether to walk away or try harder. I either be in something for a longer period of time where others find the same as intolerable situation or walk away soon where others could wait and accomplish. Such a loser i am 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brute force. I think that’s the only way. I’ve spent too much time letting everyone trod on me. When you really think about it—you are your worst critic. But deep down you are your biggest fan as well. You know that there are qualities in your character which rise above the rest. Focus on those. Allow yourself to be vulnerable but also know your strengths. I think that in collaboration—these two qualities build dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m just gaining the initial strength regarding my vulnerabilities. So I can’t exactly say I’ve put anything into real action… but it has to start with accepting yourself fully: strengths and weaknesses. I know who I am and if the world I interact with doesn’t like it—fuck them. But I’ve also gotten a handle on completely accepting solitude as well—If that’s what is meant to be. I wont give up my character to appease anyone, anymore.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yea, don’t get me wrong—I’m sure my involuntary sobs aren’t going to cease to exist… I like to blame them on the depression; stay in my fairytale, at times. But there are always chances to smile even when the bitterness of sobbing seems unending.😉

        Like

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