Today..

I saw you

After 5 month

In my dream

For the first time

I was dying to see you

To hear your voice

For once

Just once

And then it happened

There you were

Scanning every corner

Of our lovely nest

And we were

Sharing confused glances

We knew the truth

You died in our arms

Still we wanted to believe

What we were seeing

Rather than

What we knew

You asked for a lipstick

I applied the red one

On your soft lips

Carefully

Not to hurt you

As we remember

How sensitive

You skin had become

You were smiling

Laughing

Guess what

I talked to dad today

I think you told him

He was asking

Why didnt i tell him

I still couldnt find words

I just cried

Cried out pain

Cried out fear

Cried out all my doubts

You left us so volatile

So sensitive

We hide our cries

And pain

From each other

And let it break us

You looked the silliest

And the weakest

Now i know

How wrong we were

You were 1 pillar

Supporting all of us.

Now we are nothing

But a shipwreck

Damaged

Destroyed

Sunken

Lying in darkness

Wish you never left

But could we stop you?

Didn’t we try?

I know you would pull me out

Out of my hell

I know you wanted to

Today i got to know

That you tried to..

Today i am so close

To the scary passage

Between the hell

And home

But i am scared

I wish you were hear

Holding my hand

Hugging me tight

I am scared..

I cant stop crying

I dont have anxiety

I am not depressed

I think that flowed out with tears

But today

I miss you the most

And i can’t stop crying

My head hurts

My eyes burn

Wish you were hear

To give me head massage

Or i could just rest my head

On your lap

That would have worked too

Oh..and do you know

The little princess you sent down

Looks just like you..

Today. I am so lost..

Today i can’t stop crying..

Today..

I need you the most..

(In the loving memory of my mom)

Copyright © 2018 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

56 thoughts on “Today..

Add yours

      1. I dont know. There was a time when i would dream something and something really close to that would happen. The days i used to pray almost regularly. My sixth sense became so sharp it was scary.

        Distrubing ones?? Nightmares?? That too.

        Recently havent seen many.

        Are you diverting my mind Sai??

        Like

      1. ahaha its ok. I have no problem in having conversations in comments. mine is not a commercial blog I come here to have a good time or at least find some peace. I love to talk to people here. 🙂

        sometimes people fail to vent out. its involuntary. their pain gets blocked and clogged in their heart. I have been there. crying does help diluting the fears and doubts. you feel lighter.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. That happened to my grandparents … about 10 months between them. Granny first, then grandad just stopped living, eating. We all rallied round him taking meals and comfort and company … outsider’s perceptions of what he night need. Yet what he needed was 6′ under … and he chose to join her in his own way, quietly, one night when no one was watching. Peacefully I hasten to add x

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: