It’s easier to live with imposed decisions at times. Forced miseries that we label “fate” and accept them.
Problem arises when you are given choice.
When you are told you can choose peace for yourself and you will get the support you need.
Sounds sweet right??
Often times it’s a trap.
When you are living with a problem, swallowing the pain caused by it on daily basis. You know its intensity. You know the reasons why you chose to live like that. You know the consequences of your every move.
But when you bring it on the table and dissect it in front of everyone the universe implodes.
Even if you know how they are going to react. Even if they put up a brave front in front of you. You know this is going to break them deep down. I am talking about the ones who care about you.
And the rest of world?? A friend of mine sums it up really well.
She says “when people get to know about your problem they go sit in your reproductive system and have a party there” (she actually uses the V word)
Trying to fix things can sometimes tangle the situation further.
And what if in the end when they can’t handle it and give up on you?
The support they lured you with to spill out all your problems is the first thing you see dissolving.
The dilemma is driving me insane.
I know my life I have been handling it on my own since years and honestly I don’t ask for a very long life. But I am getting a chance finally.
I am going to have a conversation with dad. He said he wants to “listen and resolve the issue” I don’t think he can do that.
I have worked with him. I am his closest child mentally. Still I always find it hard to speak to him about myself.
This is going to be one of the hardest calls of my life. I have been avoiding it since 2 days..i don’t know how long I can do that.
Guess I will end up saying “i am fine”.. again..
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