Dont know what else to call it when the world around you falls deaf and mute and numb.
Since morning something’s bothering me but dont know what it is.
Talked to friends..didn’t help.
I am trying to help myself reading random shit and trying to write…its just that nothings working.
I dont know. Maybe i should try to draw something..i havent done that in a long time. But honestly i feel that wont work too.
There is no reason still something is burdening me. With this kind of stress my shoulders start hurting and its happening.
You know what. Umm..i dont know how to put this.
My life has a wierd graph. Its stays same for few years and then suddenly it changes completely.
I am thinking about moving back home. And now i get wierd feeling about leaving this place that i made my home. Every little thing. Whatever i look at all i think is…i did weeks of research to get it..
But i really want to go.
I dont think i can deal with all of this anymore i really need family.
I know things are never easy. Going back has tons of problems of its own.
These changes happen every few years and first i used to get excited. Not i feel im living an unstable life.
Its hard to plan anything. Its impossible to foresee where you might be standing few years down the road.
I dont know if im feeling bad about this.
I am just having this strange conflict between wanting to run back home asap and feeling bad about leaving behind whatever life i have here.. when i know going back is good for me in fact its necessary.
I dont know what to say or think..
And appointment tomorow…again!!
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