Request.

I have neurosurgeons appointment tomorow.

And my anxiety is in space.

The surgeon is really good heard about him. But so far my case was in the hands of renound doctors..sometimes some things are just written for you.

You cant really help it.

But guess how i am preparing for appointment… i have a concoction of coconut oil olive oil and ground coffee on my head.. now i want hair like Repunzel!

I m just trying to divert my mind. Whatever it takes. Took out my guitar today. Got inspired by unicorn junior. Now i cant decide what to learn…the rest can follow this part is tough.

Well.

It’s tomorow and im scared about. I dont know whats worse having a benign brain tumor or autoimmune…so im just praying it turns out to be something that can be easily treated so that i can go back to my life.

My normal life..like the normal lives everyone has.

It’s good to be different. I am never ungrateful about my blessings. But sometimes i do long for the life people around me has. I know it sounds like envy but its not. Or maybe its a very mild form of it.

But it happens doesnt it?

When your life is suspended with a thread a point comes you want to sit somewhere and rest.

Not that i have anything less. I never say that. I know people with bigger struggles.

But people only see material things. Sometimes i want to tell them to get into my body and live my life for a few days. Few days will be enough to know the truth.

There are a few things that people look at and judge if you have a good life or not. Being happy or peaceful barely counts in that.

Happiness is not what you see.

Well. We drifted..

I just want to request you all to pray that it turns out to be something easily treatable and i get treated and recover soon.

Please keep me in prayers. Next weeks/months are crucial. And tomorow.. im scared of tomorow tbh.I have neurosurgeons appointment tomorow.

And my anxiety is in space.

The surgeon is really good heard about him. But so far my case was in the hands of renound doctors..sometimes some things are just written for you.

You cant really help it.

But guess how i am preparing for appointment… i have a concoction of coconut oil olive oil and ground coffee on my head.. now i want hair like Repunzel!

I m just trying to divert my mind. Whatever it takes. Took out my guitar today. Got inspired by unicorn junior. Now i cant decide what to learn…the rest can follow this part is tough.

Well.

It’s tomorow and im scared about. I dont know whats worse having a benign brain tumor or autoimmune…so im just praying it turns out to be something that can be easily treated so that i can go back to my life.

My normal life..like the normal lives everyone has.

It’s good to be different. I am never ungrateful about my blessings. But sometimes i do long for the life people around me has. I know it sounds like envy but its not. Or maybe its a very mild form of it.

But it happens doesnt it?

When your life is suspended with a thread a point comes you want to sit somewhere and rest.

Not that i have anything less. I never say that. I know people with bigger struggles.

But people only see material things. Sometimes i want to tell them to get into my body and live my life for a few days. Few days will be enough to know the truth.

There are a few things that people look at and judge if you have a good life or not. Being happy or peaceful barely counts in that.

Happiness is not what you see.

Well. We drifted..

I just want to request you all to pray that it turns out to be something easily treatable and i get treated and recover soon.

Please keep me in prayers. Next weeks/months are crucial. And tomorow.. im scared of tomorow tbh.

70 thoughts on “Request.

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  1. You can do this! No matter what the outcome is,u will conquer and succeed at it. Whenever you are afraid,just remember that God tests his favourite ones and he is always there to help, beside us.You also have the prayers of your friends (hum bhi;)) and family who need you and will be there by your side no matter what.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My fingers struggle to type this as I get what you are feeling.. I will not say I understand what you are going through because there is no possible way I can and until a person personally experiences something there is no possible way for her to truly understand what the other person is going through but I’ll tell you this one thing,never lose hope..u might believe that it is the gloomiest days ever and might even be frustrated and angry but survive through it and u will only emerge stronger..
        Listening to Ar-Rahman has a soothing effect and will help calm you..aur drink Zamzam before you leave to the doctor’s,it has shifa that will help you in ways u wouldnt have guessed(i know you probably would have done all this but phir bhi continue with it) Will keep praying!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks fot reminding i am so numb i forgot to ask for my reports from the other doctor. Its 1 18 am and i cant sleep. Shit scared..

        I know whatever it is there is nothing much i can do but its too complicated. I really wish i could breathe and live like a normal person at times.

        Like

      3. It happens and it is okay to feel scared and anxious. And u collect it from the doctor tomorrow. I know that when we are scared, sleep eludes us, it is 3 am here and I can stay up the whole night to give you company but staying up isn’t going to help matters, especially when u need your spirits together tomorrow. So jao and kal ka leave it in God’s hands.He created you so he will for sure protect you.
        And there is no such thing as a normal person, everybody has their own struggles but what matters is how u let them define you and whether you control it or it controls you. This life was given to us by God and he knows us inside out,he knows the struggle you are facing,he knows your pain, he knows your tears and anxiety,he knows your fears so rest everything into his hands and know that jo bhi hoga it is for some good, might seem bad,cruel even but the one who gave us life will never wrong us,fret not.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. No hun go to sleep. I will be fine its just anxiety. My eyes are burning already will drop soon.
        I know yar apney hath main waisey bhi kuch nai hai.
        Its devastating i had to tell dad i hace no idea hows he handling it.

        Bus Allah hum sub ko himat de is waqt. Ameen

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Aameen ya rabbul aalameen..He will be fine,after all he is the Dad of the strongest person i know
        Btw,prayed tahajjud today for you, zindagi mey kabhi nahi kiya tha😂
        Ab phone rakdo and sleep, u need it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I know you’re scared. Hell, we all would be. But if you trust your doctor, you trust your higher being, then let go and let them take it. The stress and worry doesn’t help anything. You’re in my prayers tonight. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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