Socially Awkward

Social anxiety/awkwardness can be hilarious at times if you look at yourself as a stranger.

Well.

I am generally socially awkward..and occasionally I get terrible social anxiety.

Simply put I am not good at peopling.

So last night I was at a friend’s place. The one I call unicorn. An amazing friend and shoulder to cry on. Now she was the host so I went.

When people started arriving..within like 10 minutes I was literally standing in a corner in the kitchen. I am not even kidding.

My social anxiety tore ozone. I was fidgety, breathing wierd, blinking abnormally fast. I had uneasiness in my shoulders and arms. It was crazy.

Without realized I was just burying myself in a corner of the innermost part of home. And as she was in the kitchen so I just stayed there unintensionally looking at the cabenets if I can fit into one.

Now unicorn herself is not very social so she wasn’t even surprised.

When I actually started rubbing my palms on my thighs and gripping my knees every now and then.. it was then I noticed I’m acting wierd.

She looked at me and we both burst out laughing.

I said …”my palms…”

She said ..”my ass..” (she is pregnant)

And we both were laughing we didn’t need explaining.

Then I said…”how am I going to survive this. this is super awkward. How do you do this?”

She said …”yea I can see your anxiety triggered”.

Now other girls were roaming around. They were so dolled up and proper and we both were …just us.. 100% Authentic unkempt socially awkward women.

I told her “look i applied blush for you today she felt special”

Then when we were having dinner I had my plate in my hands and suddenly kids started getting cranky. Now I was sitting in the middle of the moms. So after a point I realized my feet were like 1 foot above the ground..hanging and my whole body was stiff. I wasnt even eating.

It must be looking so funny. I was clearly terrified.

I had secret jam session with unicorn’s daughter. I was with her in her room she had small version of instruments. A small guitar, drums, piano..

So I just randomly started strumming guitar when she picked a drum and sticks and started drumming.. she looked so lost..ahaha

Now this kid is a genius she is just 5 and knows basic 4 5 languages and she’s very artistic. That was the best part of the dinner.

Overall. Had good time.

When I came back I was laughing at myself for how wierd I was the whole time.

28 thoughts on “Socially Awkward

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      1. That’s unlikely to change. Functions are much like peeking at Facebook: a charade. The best advice I could ever give you is to be yourself, and ignore what others are or are not doing. You be you. Period. That’s why I love kids. No pretense, no BS.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Yep, I can identify with that anxiety so much. Anxiety is so limiting. I limit myself to only go to dinner parties if it is only a handful of people, and I know and like most of them. If not I don’t go. I hate crowds and so avoid all crowded places. I gave up work partly because of it. I am so glad you ended up having a good time and you have those special friends who understand and support you. I have too, they make life worth living.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved reading this.You have an awesome friend and you have named her well “Unicorn” too good to be true. Glad that your anxiety didn’t get the best part of you and you enjoyed your dinner with her and the rest.Have a good day!!

    Liked by 1 person

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