Social anxiety/awkwardness can be hilarious at times if you look at yourself as a stranger.
I am generally socially awkward..and occasionally I get terrible social anxiety.
Simply put I am not good at peopling.
So last night I was at a friend’s place. The one I call unicorn. An amazing friend and shoulder to cry on. Now she was the host so I went.
When people started arriving..within like 10 minutes I was literally standing in a corner in the kitchen. I am not even kidding.
My social anxiety tore ozone. I was fidgety, breathing wierd, blinking abnormally fast. I had uneasiness in my shoulders and arms. It was crazy.
Without realized I was just burying myself in a corner of the innermost part of home. And as she was in the kitchen so I just stayed there unintensionally looking at the cabenets if I can fit into one.
Now unicorn herself is not very social so she wasn’t even surprised.
When I actually started rubbing my palms on my thighs and gripping my knees every now and then.. it was then I noticed I’m acting wierd.
She looked at me and we both burst out laughing.
I said …”my palms…”
She said ..”my ass..” (she is pregnant)
And we both were laughing we didn’t need explaining.
Then I said…”how am I going to survive this. this is super awkward. How do you do this?”
She said …”yea I can see your anxiety triggered”.
Now other girls were roaming around. They were so dolled up and proper and we both were …just us.. 100% Authentic unkempt socially awkward women.
I told her “look i applied blush for you today she felt special”
Then when we were having dinner I had my plate in my hands and suddenly kids started getting cranky. Now I was sitting in the middle of the moms. So after a point I realized my feet were like 1 foot above the ground..hanging and my whole body was stiff. I wasnt even eating.
It must be looking so funny. I was clearly terrified.
I had secret jam session with unicorn’s daughter. I was with her in her room she had small version of instruments. A small guitar, drums, piano..
So I just randomly started strumming guitar when she picked a drum and sticks and started drumming.. she looked so lost..ahaha
Now this kid is a genius she is just 5 and knows basic 4 5 languages and she’s very artistic. That was the best part of the dinner.
Overall. Had good time.
When I came back I was laughing at myself for how wierd I was the whole time.