I want to talk about alot of things at once. So here comes another avalanche of rants!
I started something by the end of April. The whole initiative was triggered by a personal incident. A loved one of mine fell into dark deep bottomless pit of mental illness.
I am not mentioning alot of details and I might neutralize my blog before I take this initiative outside blogosphere.
It sounds like a stupid move for me at times as this is one place where I have been venting blindly.
But then its worth it.
It is! I just know that.
Now the thing is. The approach I had was to pick a disorder. Search blogs. Read them a little. Send invites and then wait for them to comment. All of this isn’t that easy.
On a side note if anybody thinks its some sort of trick to get following, let me break it to you I was getting follows on a faster pace when I was just doing my thing. So it’s nothing like that.
Here’s the thing.
Reading what people have been going through is an emotionally draining process. It started taking a toll within first few days. So now I try to distract myself in between.
Mother’s day I spent running in a non-stop circle of eating… then sleeping… then eating… then sleeping.. it was a very difficult day but I just knew I have to fight (or sleep) through it.
Next day was ok.
I am working on an author’s note on the side that I will tell my friends to publish with the link to MHA post.
It’s a crucial part of the whole thing.
Let me explain how.
A point came when I thought maybe I could form a facebook group or page to reach out to more people.
But then I said NOOOO!!!
Facebook is a fast way to reach bigger audience but the people who have joined in to help us with this initiative must have mustered up courage to open up about something so personal. People on wordpress are generally very compassionate and less judgement.
I have been through shit since I came up with the blog and I think it was this place that’s helped me 95% of the times from going insane completely.
World outside isn’t fair..anyone telling you otherwise is trying to sell you something (heard it yesterday in “the princess bride”)
I literally got scared when I imagined what could the consequences be.
Maybe I am being too protective but it’s fine.
It’s all about caring sharing educating helping…it’s not about number of people.
I have chosen my 4 very trusted friends so far. I am well aware of their circles. Still I am actually nervous.
I planned to start circulating by 15th May but I have a few disorders left to search I want to cover those too before going live (sounded like a channel right?)
I will continue to do this. Not at this pace but every now and then I will keep looking.
The link to that post will be a permanent part of the footer of my posts, InshAllah
You know actually a point came in these day when I was having this sinking feeling that… am I doing right??
This strange self-doubt that shreds your confidence.
But then I said ok..nothing can go wrong here..
Nothing should go wrong if you have good intension..again life isn’t fair but at least we shouldn’t stop trying to do something that’s going to be helpful for everyone.
After the incident in my family we have to face a very harsh reality.
Mental health problems run in one side of my family.
We have seen 3 severe cases of very close people from 2 generations above us. And we have lost 2 of them to this demon. One Suicide. Other nobody knows. All of this has happened within one and a half year.
Doctors have already told us.
Scary part, the age when it hits us is reducing with every generation.
We all are actually thankful that we got to know. Me, siblings cousins we are generally labeled short-tempered people.
Now we all are being very proactive about it.
As the trend goes..it’s like anxiety boiling and bubbling inside until a point comes with it explodes into a serious mental illness.
So far we haven’t had such a case in our generation, we have doubt on one of us and her parents are already working on it.
So it’s good that we know on time so that we can take care of ourselves and be aware of our mental and emotional state.
This world is such a crazy place. Everywhere I see, I just see unfair.
It’s not about me only.
You save yourself from the alligators and you bump into wolves.
Not meaning to sound all negative here. But can we shut our eyes and live like that??
You can’t really run away from every situation.
But we can still try to save ourselves and others if possible.
And for that we need to know what going on within us.
When I try to explain people about mental health I get to hear most ridiculous statements.
I remember telling someone I was suicidal and all I heard was “ok”
How does that become ok?? What if I didn’t know what was happening and didn’t ask for help??
Now these are the situations that keep me going. Trying anything I can to educate people.
I asked someone “was it hypomania or mania?”
I heard “don’t throw jargons on us, doctors know what they are doing we don’t have to know”
Why don’t we have to know??
What if we are next?? Then wouldn’t you wanna know??
Sometimes I lose strength to argue..actually I lose it all the time.
Now I give up. I can’t spoon-feed common sense, care, compassion.
Some people are all too happy in staying rigid illiterate idiots holding prestigious qualifications that sadly failed to clean their heads of vain stupid attitude.
Ok now I am getting a little upset I will go eat something.
Thanks for reading guys.
Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.
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