That scary moment when suddenly all of your friends are busy or sleeping…
Not that I am alone in existence. There must be 5 to 10 friends I can reach out but alone in spirit.
It’s complicated. Being alone while standing in the sea of familiar faces.
Not a good feeling
Today is a gloomy day that too for no reason.
I wanted to talk to somebody close and I called my aunt and I ended up feeling far worse getting to know her life is way wayyy worse than we could ever imagine…and when you hear “what do you know, look at me”..
If I start counting my blessing for people maybe there is nothing that I dont have. I talk to 50 people and find myself better than almost all of them.
Then what is it?
I was talking about parents with a friend today and I ended up crying obviously.
My mind is thinking so abstract today I don’t even know what I came to write. Or what I want to write.
Today is Zazu’s birthday. For new people Zazu is my childhood friend and one of the closest people in my life. I was looking at his pictures making a little slideshow.
I couldn’t stop shedding tears every now and then and still couldn’t figure why.
Why life has to be so complex.
I never imagined this is where I will be standing today. Like everyone I had a picture or a few probable scenarios in my head growing up.
But standing here today I feel so lost like I have been running in a dense jungle all along without directions.
What is it??
Bad decision? Sins? Mistakes?
Why I start hating my life every few years.
Maybe if I were a little more accepting..a little more adjusting..or simply I didn’t have a brain of my own.
I am sorry to say I have seen comparatively brainless people live happier lives as they just accept whatever happens. They don’t burn their brain cells in wrong and right.
I am so tired. Its been such a depressing day.
Even worse there is nothing I can change.
Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.
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