Stop Calling Suicide “Selfish” – Reblog

Another reblog. honestly the moment I saw the title my heart sank. the timing couldn’t be better. thanks to this friend of ours for addressing the situation.
Please read and understand.
She writes a lot about mental health please check her blog.

Ease The Ride

Listen up, readers. I’ve got a bone to pick with the world. Something I’m so damn tired of having to say every time this topic begins to circulate the news.

SUICIDE. IS. NOT. A. SELFISH. DECISION.

We had two notable people take their own lives this week. Apparently that’s created a platform for others to utilize their right speak freely. I support free speech. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I believe that.

However, it makes me really sad and disheartened to hear some of the things people choose to say and believe.

I know Val Kilmer has made some comments. I’m not even going to read them because I don’t feel like being triggered again today. That is not the moment that set me off on this rant. No, what got me all up in arms was when the mother of the family I babysit for wanted to talk…

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17 thoughts on “Stop Calling Suicide “Selfish” – Reblog

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  1. They hang on as long as they do because they’re scared of dying or suffering a worse pain than the one they’re living, NOT because they’re considering someone more than themselves. And can we please give this MENTAL HEALTH overuse and excuse a break already. Goodness, it’s like the go-to label for everything under the sun. At the core of it all, the core which most refuse to face in the mirror, is SIN. Sin, selfishness, ego, flawed humanity.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I have to think this way.
    If I don’t I’ll go back to how I felt when I was a teenager.

    I used believe suicide was a brave choice to make. I got the night where it all came to much for me, I wrote my note and was ready. Ready to end my life. I didn’t. Something kept me alive. Writing my note and realizing the impact I had on people. I may be mentally going through a bad time. Through my darkest days. Hell my own father used me as a toy for him to play with, to humiliate, I live with them memories everyday.

    Last year my 13 year old cousin tried to kill herself. I witnessed first hand how her family reacted. Her older brother has autism and blames himself because he couldn’t see the signs. None of us could. Her father is a mess of a man. Her mum and dads marriage ended because they blame each other. When the doctors brought her round after 2 days of hell. She said she’ll do it again and again, because of the attention she was getting.
    Now I understand people out their do need help, the ones that suffer in silence. They’re the ones that the mental health services miss, there the ones that deserve the help they aren’t getting.

    I have to believe it’s selfish, for me to justify the way I felt when I wanted to take my life.
    Even though I didn’t feel it at the time I do have people around me.
    I was living with the memories of my fathers abuse, which led to the abuse of school kids and teenagers.
    I had the memories in my head everyday.
    It turns out I didn’t want to kill me, I wanted to kill the person I was.
    It does get better. I didn’t believe it, 8 years later. I do.
    I did have a point to this, but I’ve lost it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. when I wrote about suicide I stressed on the family and friends and people around. I never used the word selfish. I hadn’t seen it first hand I wasnt there mentally.

      then I had suicide ideation and everything changed.. I realized you don’t want to do it, you know its wrong and its going to hurt, but you feel you might still end up doing it. it’s a tricky numb state.

      then I lost an uncle to suicide and I had known him all my live. I realized he wasnt there.

      its like being pushed to a point where you dont want to go. spreading awareness can make us realize that there is such a point. I got help within 2 minutes I couldn’t harm myself as I knew it’s just not me.

      for mental health and suicide, nobody is to be blamed and everyone needs helping hand. everyone needs to reach out.

      I hope things get better for your cousin.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. That exactly true, I wasn’t who I wanted to be when I was that 16 year old, I became numb to the world, numb to my own feelings. I just wanted the world to stop or for me not be on it anymore.
        I can’t say it was my dad that made me suicidal, I didn’t speak up of what he was doing to me, I felt I’d be blamed, it came eventually he was doing it to other girls and my whole family got blamed for it.
        I couldn’t bring it up when that was happening, because comments where already made, along the lines of ‘why didn’t he do it to his daughter, rather than innocent children.’ Either way that messed with my mental health.

        How I learnt to deal with my pain, was maybe helping others who needed it. I’ve spent the last six years working with adults who have mental health and history of suicide.

        I think what annoys me about suicide is when people romanticize it. There’s nothing beautiful about wanting to die alone.

        I call what I wanted to do selfish, but I wouldn’t class every body’s experience selfish.
        It’s very hard subject to write about, I’ve tried in the past and I can’t put into words how I feel about.
        Thank you for saying that.
        X

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Anthony Bourdain referred to himself as selfish for his contemplation of suicide. And in some ways it is the most selfish act even though it comes with a much more complex set of labels than merely selfish.

    As someone who has seen the fallout of several suicides I can understand why people say it. I’ve seen a teenage boy who found his father and unsuccessfully tried to save him evolve into an adult who never got over it.
    I’ve seen a son see suicide as a viable option because his father did it and so it can’t be that bad.

    There’s so many angles and so many people that get hurt including the victim themselves. I think we need to have more empathy for everyone who has the misfortune to come into close contact with suicide instead of telling them how to judge it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. For those of us unfortunate enough to have loved and losses due to suicide most of us understand our loved one was in so much pain they could think of nothing else but to end it. While it was their choice they’re not in their right mind otherwise they may not consider, plan or execute it. We must have grace, love and compassion for those who are gone especially for their loved ones who are grieving greatly and may feel responsible (but they’re not). My heart hurts for all affected by suicide. I’m a surviving friend, niece, and granddaughter. I understand the hurt of the families, friends and communities. Love y’all and thank you for posting this. 💙Grace covers all💕

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, yes, yes. Kudos to her. I concur. I can only assume Val Kilmer is hurting terribly and probably hasn’t known anyone who struggled with suicidal ideations, attempts or actually going through with it. You’re welcome honey. It’s from my heart. ♥️

        Like

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