There is a reason I have “roller coaster” part in my blog name.
Wish I was even 1% aware of what life is going to do to me next moment.
Looks like I will have to move again..yea..another move. I hate moving!
This time back home…PERMANENTLY!!!
Seriously? I mean I don’t even know how to react.
Well I know. I should be packing.
And here I am writing this post! will do it soon don’t worry I have a month or so.
2 3 months back I talked about this to dad and he was very supportive so I thought maybe it’s good. I was actually happy about going back.
Even then it took me 1 2 days to familiarize myself with the update as you look around and wonder .. okay so now I have to pack up when some of my stuff is still packed from last move. But that was within country.
This one is like jumping into a well of bats…i have no idea how this creepy thought crossed my mind.
But at least you know how risky this seems to me.
Then dad fell ill and everything changed.
Now suddenly this is thrown our way again. Dad was supportive again but people back home can be really shitty at times.
When you live away from people you are safe from a lot of crap.
But then I think I am just too beaten to even react to the crap anymore.
Everything is going in my favor as an individual. Can’t thank God enough for this.
But I am a little scared of people there.
Well I am generally scared of people.
But then there is home and family.
But that’s what makes you weak..
I am confused!
Something tells me things are going to get better after this.
I have had a seriously shitty life. So so shitty people around me haven’t seen anybody go through this much.
So somewhere I feel now I will get to the good part of life.
It’s not going to be easy.
Changes are always difficult.
I have always been the self-sacrificing one but today I am not doing it.
Today I am thinking about myself first.
Because whoever I stood by was never there for me. My friends were..they are my life support I swear.
And believe it or not. I was nervous and scared and I saw comments from you guys and I couldn’t help smiling.
I felt so much better.
Wish me luck and strength.
It’s gonna be tough again.
But..Such is life..
Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.
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