what do you do when your all support ends? the practical ones.

all of it.

this needs to stop but it doesn’t.

I dont believe this is happening to me.

this is serious.

my entire family ditched me. how could they lie like that.

few months back dad was assuring me that he is with me and today he acted like he never even said it.

I dont believe this is happening.

I wish I wasnt alive.

I am not suicidal but I really wish I wasnt seeing this.

I wish I could escape this.

I can’t deal with it.

seriously you all have been in such a place. what did you do?


Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

Copyright Β© 2018 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

64 thoughts on “help!

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    1. I still don’t believe this is happening to me.
      I wonder how am I even alive.
      I am asking where I can. but unfortunately people who can really help are away.
      I cant call my best friend on his honeymoon and say..hey guess what I got screwed again..


  1. Assure and Reassure. I have been through this many times in my life and even very recently. I assure myself and dont lose the confidence in me. I dont like to give up neither. Some may think I am cheating self, but that isnt true. The more you beleive yourself, the more you can see the light, even if it is a pinhole. You are your own support. Nobody can support you continous. Only death will seperate the support. This too shall pass because the BEST IS YET TO BE. Stay blessed!


      1. All i can say u is be brave. U may want to check with me to feel comfort, pls do so. U have my number.. I pray and sincerely pray, hard times disappear for u.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. When I felt like that I would immerse myself in mundane tasks. I would make some beans on toast, sit in front of my TV and watch DVD’s of really old films. Then have a soak in the bath and go to Bed. Sometimes I would feel better, sometimes not, but by that stage another day had passed. Don’t forget the Samaritans. They may not be someone close to you, but they are always there for a chat and are usually people who have gone through just what you are going through. I only phoned them once, years ago, when all my family were away or busy and I had gone through the process I described and two days later I still felt the same. They were marvellous. I hope you get through this πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You dust yourself down and remind your self everything is transient. This is just a moment and moments pass. Don’t ever stop fighting. There will be others willing to help whether professional or friend. You’re never alone in this stuff. People are out here/there. X (John)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand the language you’re using friend. I see that language as a reaching out. So reach out. There will be help out there. You gotta do a little bit of the work too. And don’t ask for support DEMAND it! Its your right. These things pass but they have to be fought as well. Never lose sight of the fight. Its what people Luke us are good at. We deal with shit others can’t imagine every day. X

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I dont know what language im using.
        I am doing it i have been on phone all day at least i have little bit of survival plan. Little. But at least better than nothing.
        Im fighting hard.
        Even though i feel i might pass out. Maybe i did too. I don’t know.
        It took me so long to figure that Luke is like…
        Yes we do.


  4. This probably might not help but whenever I feel like I’m losing my mind I drown myself in sad songs, it feels good, idk how but it just does. I don’t mind recommended a few. Stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, it’s different for everyone. It’s a good thing there are so many cat videos online, hehe. Hope it gets better soon.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Unfortunately, this is when you realize You Can’t Pick Your Family. Are you still planning on moving in with or closer to your dad?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wait it out for them to kick each other and be patient. They will come around. There is nothing you did wrong to them, so you are in the right. They can speak all of their lies, but you know what is truth. If they don’t need you, you don’t need them. Life goes on.

    If I might notice, this can be a good thing. You just got relieved from all of the burden, and now you are free of people, so you can dedicate to yourself and your life. There is nothing that connects you with them. I have a ton of my family that doesn’t speak to my family, just because we are distant from each other. We still live on our own and push forward. I don’t think about them just the same way don’t think about me.

    See, you can live without them. YOU WILL LIVE WITHOUT THEM AND THAT IS 0K. Remember that Alyana. There is nothing holding you back now. You are free.

    But don’t be a bitch. Occasionally try to reach them, see how are they doing and all, but have a reserve if they start attacking you. Defend yourself. Have some respect for yourself. Family or not, nobody has right to put blame on you for something that’s out of your control.

    F*** them, f*** them all collectively. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Some of them are already kicking each other but what will i get out of it. I just want a normal life for myself.
      Thanks for saying this. Right now everyone is being an asshole and i know im right. If i was wrong 1 bit i would be blaming myself.
      My bro is supporting me but he is too young.
      Yea. I will need some time before i can say i dont need them. Im working on it.

      I know few days back i thought the same its worse. They are going against me.

      Yea i wont be a bitch. Once i figure out a way then i wont care probably.

      Lol ok..

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Being a crazy person, I have the ability to motivate myself off of any stray bit of minutia. Saw a thin girl in the grocery store today. That will give me juice for weeks to come. πŸ™‚ Oh, and don’t underestimate the ability of the young(i.e., your brother) to see things from an original, unfettered perspective. You ever see the scene in Star Wars Episode 2 where Yoda asks advice from his own pre-teen students? And right in front of Obi-Wan, as if suggesting old Obi-Wan was kind of incapable of giving good advice. Lol. Also, knowing you’re right, having that confidence, is something to cherish, my friend, even in the face of dissent. Until next time, keep punching, slip the jab, and make sure to move your head from side to side to make a more difficult target of yourself. πŸ™‚


  8. You do what I did when my family abandoned me, you mourn for them, then you get mad at them for not loving you like they should, then you forgive them, and finally, you decide you’re not going to let that overtake your life and you start building a future for yourself surrounded by who loves you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It took me many “moons” in time to forgive mine. I still am not sure if I really have. I hate it for my kids, and their kids, the having to live with no family but me and their dad and a few others. The not having a family I grew up in is a hard pill to swallow. Much of my poetry stems from that. I feel like I may never ever get rid of the “betrayed” feeling. Mine would of seen fit to do this had it been a different day or time, like you, mine were never fair in their responses, treatment, and words, or actions towards me. Like my husband said if it had not of been “this” it would of been “that”, that gave them a reason to forget about me or shun me .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Your husband is right. They hunt for reason to do what they planed already. I had mixed feeling about mine. Before few months back all was well as long as i didnt tell them about my problems. The moment i looked at them for helped it all changed.

        Its sad right friends an aunt and you guys are being my support when my blood relations are like…don’t come to us with problems.

        Honestly i saw some of my uncle aunts who separated from family anf their kids could progress more as they didnt have to face judgements and criticism. Which relatives assume their duty..

        On the other hand our lives got screwed because we were under constant scrutiny.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I agree, and mine loved to control things. If they couldn’t then they got worse. I went to one of my parents to for help and that is when my life at home got really bad for me.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. You look inside for the strength we sometimes is external, that we must get it from others and lean on them. But when all my help was gone, I learned that I was the strong one. May God bless you and let you fe el His presence today.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I just had a moment today. I was lying down looking at the sky from window and i saw a star and in my head i was said..ok God you know im not wrong and this is too.much with me. I know you have a reason but help me. I was talking to Him.
      Please pray for me. Reallly hard time.

      Liked by 3 people

  10. I went through a period where I felt deeply let down by people close to me. They were the worst few years of my life, filled with panic attacks and falling sick every other day. It took a lot of effort for me to bring the focus back onto myself. I realised how dependent I was on them despite feeling angry. And the reason I was dependent on them was because I was scared to do things myself. It took a few more years for me to push myself and overcome a lot of my fears and become independent. It was such a freeing experience!!! Just push yourself to focus on yourself rather than what they did to hurt you. Find out why you are giving them the power to hurt you.
    The irony is it that the day you will feel confident and independent, these very same people will latch onto you for security! Be careful though of who you give a second chance as I am learning right now. One moment of weakness and they would be back to their old ways.
    Through this journey certain relationships will get stronger while in some the dynamics will change and some you may find no point in continuing.
    It’s ok if you are feeling weak, scared, angry, lonely, for in real life it’s not sugar, spice and everything nice that make you a power puff girl!!😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I so needed to read this!
      Thank you so much. You summarized all that everyone is telling me roght now. Thats how it is.
      Been there before too. But this time it’s like 10 times of the last time.I
      Said too many “times”

      Thank You so much πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

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