Birthday Blues

Remember when last year I was turning 30 and I threw a weird tantrum. Or maybe a series of tantrums. Here is one of them : Me!!

Well it’s that day of year again.

Yup. It’s my birthday.

And whoever came up with the term birthday blues wasn’t entirely wrong.

Last year I was really worry my 20s are going to end and I haven’t achieved much but later I realized this is not how it works.

Success age numbers happiness satisfaction..all these don’t follow specific patterns. Sometimes they don’t even link to each other.

Few hours before midnight I had that sinking feeling. I actually fell asleep. Glad I did.

As I am not on social media most of the people didn’t remember it’s my birthday. Thank God family did and close friends too. Otherwise I would have gotten really depressed.

Or would I??

At this point if I see a cake my question would be where am I going to take all of this?

This is where you miss family. You know no matter how big the cake is it will be gone.

I don’t know.

Life is weird.

This time it feels like a very normal day that I try to walk by casually.

Since few years I have been setting goals. And mostly it’s just one goal. To get rid of my illness.

Every year I tell myself next year I will be back to normal but that doesn’t happen so not even bothering this time.

Now it’s just another day another year.

But yes I do feel like I have come a long way. I do feel more sensible more mature person. I feel I know myself better in a lot of ways and for that credit goes to all my friends (including you guys) who let me make mistakes.

Above all I have learned something precious very hard way.

I have started believing in “this too shall pass” firmly.

Every time, every hardship, every thing fades. So does your pain and grudges.

Sometimes you have to wait for dust to settle and I know it will soon. Or I will get used to walking through haze.

Life goes on..

..

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

Copyright © 2018 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

83 thoughts on “Birthday Blues

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      1. One of us has to. Besides, we work just fine together. You are the cloud in my Sun, and I am a Sun in your cloud. Opposites attract each other. And I love your face and I am not embarrassed to tell it to your FACE, Ha! Take that and have a good one. Bury your face in baklava when you get the chance. I want pictures as evidence you actually did it. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Happy Birthday!

    I used to hate birthdays, mine and those of others.

    Mine because when I was a child and teen, my parents would use my birthday as a day to have that huge fight which had been brewing and growing in intensity over the end of year holiday. Later on I made it a miserable day for myself because I’d wait to see if anyone cared enough about me to remember it was my birthday.

    Those of others because they would forget my birthday but expect me to remember theirs, and I was supposed to be okay with them forgetting mine but they weren’t okay with me forgetting theirs.

    Then one day while I was working in an office full of creative people, someone came in with a birthday cake and shouted it’s my birthday – in this office they had a creative rule that if it was your birthday you bought and brought a cake to share with everyone, announced it was your birthday – that way everyone could have fun including you and there weren’t any birthday blues due to people forgetting and stuff. I really liked that, it helped to change my attitude, which rippled into other things too.

    I’ll be 50 in a couple of months, the 40’s have been an amazing decade of letting go and letting loose. Things do get better, but it is up to you to figure out how to turn curses into blessings… as you have already very wisely figured out.

    Best wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This comment made me so emotional I opened it 3 4 times and closed without finding words to reply.
      I just don’t know what to say. Parents must be respected in any case but we have to accept sometimes they can be horribly wrong too.
      Thank God I have friends who make sure I feel special even if with words only.
      Last year I lost my mom days before my birthday I dont think it can feel like a normal birthday again .

      Your workplace was amazing!

      I have a feeling my late 30s and 40s with be awesome.

      Thank you so much for this comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have most often had a fine birthday, even when some people have used the day as a time to try and fight with me (only has happened three times). Only on one occasion was I afraid for my life, but that was 33 years ago. Your thirties, and beyond, are bound to be awesome. Happy 31st!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. For some reason I have a feeling too that day ahead will be better.

      I was afraid for my life at my 27th birthday. I have been through alot this far at least I know how to sail now. And have more patience and less fear. So life ahead is bound to be better 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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