Needed to speak.

I am trying to write something but I can’t

We look up to our fathers for unconditional strong source of support. As long as they are there we believe nothing can go wrong with us.

It’s painful when tables turn. We love to be there for our parents but when they are getting weaker it hurts.

I am going to see my dad soon and be with him for some time.

And after 7 months we have started to talk about his mental health.

Today, first time he used the word “bipolar”

He told me “your brother hit the breaks hard and that scared me, I think its age or maybe my condition” and I didn’t know how to respond.

My shoulders stiffened.

There’s tons of detail in this whole thing but all irrelevant. And I don’t want people to think I am doing it for sympathy or something.

I started mental health awareness project when he went manic for the first time this year only. It’s been 7 months.

Awareness and self-awareness can solve a lot of problems.

And so can validation from others.

People who say mental illnesses is an exaggerated concept should talk to me. I will show them reports how real and physical it can be.

My father was figurehead of his family and always considered a strong personality.

Him asking questions like a child is heart breaking. He kept on asking about my flight and was literally counting days, even hours.

He is still afraid of even talking to people.

For now everything will be going on a break. There are tons of things I need to look into including meeting his doctors.

I have been doing my homework since months. I just didn’t tell him because being in another country I could trigger something that the rest of the family would have to handle. I knew my silence will be judged but it was better for him.

Now he sounded he is ready to talk about it. He is my father I am sure he is making a list.

I might be needing help from some you too. He could be wanting to know someone with bipolar disorder. I am still not sure how to do this. I will see once I am with him.

Right now I just don’t know.

I will keep writing here. Where else can I go to balance out chaos?

Thanks to each one of you who helped me clear my concepts by sharing their story. I had to pause reblogs because I was going through a lot in my own life and had to prioritize.

And I do have some plans to take the whole project one step forward but I want to be very careful.

You guys are like my family. I do want to raise awareness but I know how mean the world can be, I don’t want to give them an opportunity.

I don’t even know what exactly I had to say.

Just, listen to people around you and try to be there for them.

Mental illnesses are illnesses. Like any other illness they do need the right treatment.

that’s all for now.

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awarenesswhere I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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