Confused.

One more day when I have written 4 drafts and couldnt post any of them.

I am so indecisive these days.

This is a broken poem I wrote.

As silence seeped through cracked windows
And blue walls closed on me
The demons are laughing at my helplessness
I am tired of lying “one day i will be free”
Bound by chains of love, jailed at home
I am scratching these walls with bare hands
I promised myself I will flee
I’m crushed under wieght of obligations
My soul shattered by lies and deciet
Something doesnt let me give up
I am fighting this boiling agony..

I am so confused.

I feel scared numb anxious clueless all the same time.

Today I was talking to my youngest sis. She is 10 years younger than me and she was with dad throughout the whole thing.

So far I am the only kid who inherited anxiety but early realization has helped me manage it.

So she was asking. Everything about anxiety. I told her my overall experience. And my attempts to manage it.

My highs and lows.

Then she said why don’t you help people with it. I told her whatever I have been doing. But somewhere I feel it’s not enough.

I have been thinking about forming a closed support group probably on Facebook as everyone (except me) uses Facebook.

But i dont want to compromise my anonymity and on Facebook you are supposed to use your real name. It’s not illegal but its required by Facebook policy.

So I am nervous about it. Another option can be some other social media platform. I am just very unsure about everything right now.

What do you guys suggest??

..

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awarenesswhere I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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20 thoughts on “Confused.

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  1. I know what you mean. I’m hesitant to post on Facebook too, because it opens up to so many people. It will definitely reach more readers and gain followers, but it’s so open. I have anxiety over this too. I like your idea of closed group. Tell me how it goes. Maybe that’s a solution to FB conundrum.
    Sorry I don’t have specific suggestions, just commiserating with you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you!! I’m so happy that I could be helpful in this way. Sometimes we just need to toss around ideas and mull it over before making any big changes.
        When I first started blogging, I didn’t realize how helpful and encouraging the community would be!! Hope your decision making goes well and you do what is right for your blog.
        Have a great rest of this Sunday. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I wouldn’t start anything else at the moment. You are in control of this blog and people understand your situation I think. I know you say you want to help more but you need to think how much if your time it would take and how it might affect you. I’m not saying don’t do it, just be cautious. X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suddenly get worried and overwhelm myself.
      you are right once again I need to organize everything. my best friend is visiting me tomorrow so it will be easier to manage and decide. time is the biggest concern. but in a way it is to help manage that as I find it hard to follow every story on the blog they get flooded and sometimes I miss a post where I later feel I wish I read it earlier.

      I will be cautious. thank you xoxo

      Like

  3. Do what you feel in your gut, but don’t stop writing your poetry. It is beautiful and if it only helps one person who reads it, it is enough. The fact that you are sharing and trying to help is more than enough. Congratulations on stepping up and helping when you yourself struggle. Much love and light 😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You guys are probably right I have too much on my plate right now. Maybe I am just being too emotional and impulsive.
      The support group wasnt for me. I am getting plenty of support from friends and this place. I wanted others to get some too.
      But it’s kinda overwhelming me already..

      Like

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