I feel like a child again

So. There are some people I really like the first time I need them and most of the time it’s because of the conversation I had with them.

I mean. I dont care what you look like and what’s you age and how well you dressed and all ..just don’t piss me off. That’s all.

If I can talk to someone and don’t feel cannons shifting in my direction I will definitely look forward to meet you again.

So I met this lady last year she could be my grandma’s age and I was so impressed. I could talk to her endlessly for days.

That was last year

Cut to..tonight!

So today i just started taking an online course related to my field. I read a lot but studying and that too after a long time is different. Honestly I was doubting myself if I will even be able to do it. Well congratulate me because i scored 100% on first quiz (which was embarrassingly easy)

So I had that on my mind. And a long list of things that need to be done in next 4 5 days.

And then I met this lady.

The hug told me the feeling was mutual. She was equally happy to see me.

And then then shittery started.

I was looking at her.

She was talking to me.

And her words started fading as an overpowering sound of buzz took over my mind.

Like I’m standing next to a train track and a never ending train is going God knows where just next to me.

Deafening me to the rest of the world.

Numbing me.

There were inner arguments between my mind and rest of me. My mind running away in circles and rest of me chasing it.

I remember her smile. I remember she was talking a lot. I remember her lips were constantly moving.

I remember I was smiling back and nodding and sometimes laughing in between just so that she doesnt feel she is talking to a wall.

But I remember myself going numb too.

And I dont remember a single word of what she said.

I feel like a child again.

Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

Copyright © 2019 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved

Here’s the link to my debut poetry collection => Swinging Sanity

Here’s the link to my post about the book –All About Swinging Sanity

18 thoughts on “I feel like a child again

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  1. I feel a little like this sometimes. For me, it’s migraine and ear-related, worse now with chronic tinnitus. I can’t bear certain types of noise and sounds and crowds, especially loud bunches of people talking in a small space. I feel like my head will crush in. No way can I remember anything someone says. 😢

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh those!! Yup. Been there. That happens everytime I’m unwell. Headaches, flu, anything I feel my whole facial system is blocked.

      What I wrote about is more like a feeling. It doesnt feel bad or something. It’s nothing psychological. I felt I’m in a good mental and emotional space.
      It’s just how absent minded I can be at times. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You know ai am one of your fans out here. I like your honesty and your vulnerable side too. Thanks for being real, you can always email me.


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