Late night ramble.

You know you are bless when you have someone that possesses power to calm you down.

I used the word power because that’s what it takes.

Last 4 5 days have been a race against time and I still felt I am not doing enough. I have no count of job applications I have sent in this short time span.

I called it mass shooting of CV.

Today I got my second rejection letter/mail.

I wasnt depressed sad or anything.

I felt nothing at all.

But that’s what I thought

Sometimes our friends know us better. And they told me you are having anxiety subconsciously.

Even though I am feeling okay overall. I’m doing okay! But what’s keeping me up then?


Before it would move to conscience from sub-conscience Sam picked me call at 1 30 am.

That’s what real friends are like.

She is insanely busy but she knew I was approaching something I don’t know.

She calmed me.

She told me what to do and how to take a break without feeling guilty.

Tonight is one of last big nights of Ramadan.

Even though I should have been praying but I dont know why I was imprisoned by this wierd nothingness.

Maybe its it’s just me.

It’s like when you are scared to take a step even though it wont hurt you.

I dont know how to explain.

But Yea. I am giving my laptop a much needed vacation.

Will go and pray right now and then just try to sleep again. And I pray for all of you too when I pray for my friends.

Any special prayers you want me to make for you?

Tonight I have decided I wont worry about not falling asleep.


That’s all for now.

Take care guys.

4 thoughts on “Late night ramble.

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  1. I just got my 18th rejection for a menial labor job. My ego is pretty bruised. But I’m still trying. If I can’t wow ’em with my awesomeness, maybe I can impress them with my tenacity.

    I wish I felt nothing but i feel completely useless. So I gotta keep fighting even if it borders on denial and self delusion.

    I’m glad you have good friends who reach out to you. That truly is a blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know what my friends said?? They said at least this proves you CV is reaching the right place.
      A friend who works in IT told me they are automated email. You get the reply when vacancy isnt there and they need CV is there pool she has worked on it.
      And it’s public holidays here. Nobody is going to work. So who is rejecting?

      So rejections arent that bad. Your CV reached 18 right places. They might call you when they have a vacancy.

      Dont lose hope. 🙂


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