It’s my fourth attempt to fill this space with nothing but blankness.
Not that I didn’t have words. There are 3 horrendous and long but empty drafts.
So I chose not to post.
I have been having this feeling since weeks.
I said having, not battling, not suffering, just having.
I would do tons of work and feel I didn’t do enough.
I wasn’t anxious.
I wasn’t sad or upset or depressed.
I was nothing.
Then I tried to tell my friends.
And they understood. And made me understand what I was feeling but couldn’t process.
They told me I have been constantly going through shit for so long that now, when ik in a better calmer place my system is confused.
My mind doesn’t know what to do.
Even my body can’t come to terms with the fact that trauma element is gone.
This is so confusing but made total sense when they explained to me.
Problem – emptiness
Solution – time
That’s what they said. It’s a gaint hole. It’s going to take time to fill.
It’s like a tumor being removed. You can expect your body to immediately go back to it’s old form, even if it was a tumor!
Life feels like a bad joke at times.
Just had to let it out.
Have you guys been in such a position? How did you deal with it?
I would love to know.
Copyright © 2019 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
Here’s the link to my debut poetry collection => Swinging Sanity
Here’s the link to my post about the book –All About Swinging Sanity