Final tantrum

Like final problem in Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch one) will get to that later

Well

I recorded 2 notes used voice to text and they were so long I could imagine android running after myself and panting. Not even kidding. Once it just stopped. Guess I talked too much..well..surprise!!

But the notes are so long I dont even have time and energy to add even line spaces so here we are.

Ok! Focus!

So I have finally finished painstaking task of making my writing CV.

I have done more than I could remember. Here I mostly rant so my writing is a projectile vomit.

But the rest is better.

So I could split my experience into blogging, self-publishing, freelancing. In case you guys plan to try you can split your experience like that. And ask me I will gladly share. And then I realized I have actually been doing something.

My freelancing was legal and govt docs so that’s nothing like vomit.

And wtf I’m writing it here.

Ok

So for I finally added link to my blog with shaking hands.

You guys have no idea how terrified I was.

It’s like you stuffing all your mess in a storage and when you have any formal guests and they accidentally open that storage…you get the idea.

First I thought I would censor some content.

On this blog I’m a vulnerable, sensitive, emotional fucked up person. It’s an ugly side I don’t want to share with the world, especially my potential employers.

But I can’t even filter 1000 something posts.

So what’s happened will stay here.

I don’t think they have time to scan my whole blog, I really hope not. Might do that featured posts thing..maybe..I dont know.

Formatting cv have turned by brain into a pulp.

But then will I be able to change me?

This is one place I’m 100% me. Good bad ugly whatever but it’s me.

Maybe I wont change a thing

I will just let it be. But will definitely remove this post.

I have learned something in life.

When you are not yourself, you end up in situations you wouldn’t want to be.

I’m note going to change interior of my cave for some guests.

Guests are guests, they will visit and leave.

It’s more of a self-talk. When I started this post I was planning a revamp but now I don’t.

Well.

Past few days made me feel defeated. Or maybe last whole month.

And I came to conclusion. I am a separate personal, with my own circumstances, choices, nature, priorities. At any stage of life my divisions were based on my own circumstances I dont need to explain them.

Nobody was living my life.

I am working on a list of what makes me happy.

Will be sharing with you guys soon

And believe me most of it was little random stuff. Some were just too silly but they satisfied me.

Well.

I came to say I will be blogging differently now on but now I wont.

I’m am me and this place and people here are my catharsis.

This is a weird post that started with a tantrum and ended with a smile on my face.

Have a wonderful day 🙂