This october is getting too unbearable for me.
First of all a note for potential employers: skip this poem, just dark times..
So, this oct is probably doing to drain every drop of mental and emotional energy in me.
Today I just randomly slept for an hour and I know these naps very well. These are depression naps. I don’t know medical terms but when I’m mentally traumatize I can just suddenly fall asleep. Maybe just mental exhaustion.
I have too many reasons to hate this month. I wish I could go in hibernation and come back in November…but when have life been that kind?
Work pressures and problems, family, finances, commitments, it’s like everything is like that.
Today a colleague correctly pointed right now it’s me feeling numbness, the world is rotating on it’s own pace. It my mind that’s frozen.
I have written a poem about October in my book. It’s last poem of swinging sanity.
But I wrote something else.
Calling it poetry would be blasphemy.
So just calling it something..
Here it is..
When it’s october
I resort to all black attire
Like I’m wearing a shadow
My glasses get bigger
Maybe to hide something
My heart feels tons heavier
With the weight of memories
I no longer feel the weather
There’s a constant chill in air
A mild yet biting chill
I give up on my appearance
As if nothing matters
As if I don’t exist
I stop caring about people
And what people think of me
My chest tightens
The lump in my throat hardens
And every strand of my hair
Turns into fine needles
There’s no escape
When your own body
Becomes your torture cell
When the colour palette of your life
Suddenly drops to muddy grey
And there’s no place of any colour
You just wait
And stare at the clocks
Hear their tick tocks
And wait for time to pass
Second by second
Minute by minute
Day by day
Untill this dark month is over..
Copyright © 2019 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
Here’s the link to my debut poetry collection => Swinging Sanity
Here’s the link to my post about the book –All About Swinging Sanity