Twisted world

Wrote this on Wednesday.

“Imagine a soap opera with location of an office and characters employees.

Now imagine 2 out of 3 fighting with full on drama, like tears and all.

Now imagine yours truely sitting on her chair lost in work, completely oblivious to the fact that there is hand-over going on and one of them is leaving.

I didn’t know the whole day. I kept thinking it would be over soon and it’s just drama, nothing serious.

Don’t know what I’m gonna do from tomorow.

They both are wrong and right at the same time.

I feel bad about the whole situation.

This world is getting extremely competitive and next moment employers find a better person willing to work for lesser salary.

Half of me is feeling numb about what’s gonna happen tomorrow as I will have to do everything now.

And half of me is sad..its a ruthless world.

Competition has got to a point where things are just have gotten ugly.

Today it’s her tomorow it will be me..

I don’t know what’s going on.

Today I ran to catch a metro. I could wait as next one comes in maybe 3 to 4 minutes, but would that be fun?? Or dramatic?

I dont know guys, I dont know what’s going on.

I don’t understand this world.

Still waiting for one normal day.”

And then came yesterday. The day if me sitting alone in office and trying to stay as calm as I can.

All went ok. Nothing bad happened. But preemptively I was careful about a lot of stuff. I just joined and this was an informal setup running by 2 friend, one of them resigned after an ugly fight.

All was good untill I was leaving and my boss suddenly said you will me comming on Saturdays too..

I swear my stomach jumped in my throat and my heart dropped to replace it.

Like major wtf moment.

I was hired to work for 5 days. My salary was fixed accordingly. Due to their twisted work timings I get home late with zero energy.

Half of the time he was complaining about how bad ex-employee was. On one hand I know he was right, on the other I know he will to the same to me…

Twisted world.

Well. This is where it gets interesting.

Few years bad I wouldn’t be able to handle a situation like this.

Now I started timing myself.

I gave myself 1 month margin to be here. And I was living on 1 day at a time agenda.

Now I have shortened it to 1 task at a time.

It’s weekend here.

Planning to do meal preps as things are going to get harder now on.

Tomorow shopping is on the cards InshAllah.

Then work from sunday. On tuesday I will plan how to handle this Saturday situation. I need to come up with a solid reason for why I cannot come on Saturdays. I m sure he is not going to I crease my salary to adjust for it. And honestly it’s not even about salary. I am not a machine.

Even if I were a machine, my springs would have come out by now.


This is adult life.

In my case it is a choice. I have chosen struggle because I don’t trust this world to take care of me.

But yea this is growth. Preparing to face a challenge when you just see tip of the iceberg is massive growth. My old version would have fallen apart by now.

25 thoughts on “Twisted world

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    1. Mutual respect is everything. And sometimes you have to draw lines no matter how hard it is or even if it will end up in people judging you.
      One reason behind this messed up situation was that they boss started this company on very friendly terms. There was serious lack of professionalism and sense of hyrarchi. It got too informal.
      Trying hard not to let that happen to me.


  1. I’m not the least bit competetive. I am. however, sarcastic, overharing, and open to fibs. “I can’t be here on Saturday. That is the only day my clinic does the IV ketamine research treatment and the law requires I be monitored in click afterward for several hours. Otherwise, I’d come in but without these treatments I become contagious and…”
    The ketamine thing is real, at least in early testing stages, for depression.
    But the look on his face, especially if you threw in some reference to it being related to treating female issues…might be worth being less than professional and um, sane.

    You’re on the right track, one day at a time, doing best you can. It’s just for now, not forever, right?

    I do, however, think the two of us need to take some sort of pro-competetive personality workshop before this dog eat dog world turns us into swiss cheese. Apparently, our big failing is being nice and trying to be a decent person. We’d probably have Fortune 500 companies if we had that cut thoat conscience-less thing going on.
    Sad statement about the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. we all have our own battles and going through medical procedures and testing and all is certainly the not an easy one.

      yea one day at a time is not forever but i cant focus on anything long term or i will collapse with disappointment. small progress is sane strategy atm.

      i have worked in a big company but it’s another story. i dont know what people want but i know me and i do want to grow as a professional and person but that’s never going to be at expense of my moral values and a place worth working for is going to respect that. that’s my believe. in the end i know if i keep moving without harming anyone maybe my pace will be slow but at least i wont have guilt.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My old counselor instilled one thing in me that helped for 25 years. “Cautious optimism”. It’s okay to fear the worst outcome but you also have to anticipate a good outcome, too. I’ve found it a very helpful way to employ this mental approach.
        Sometimes, though, if something feels like it is devouring your soul…Find another ship and jump overboard into it and let the other one sink.
        Only you know what is best for you, so yeah, do that.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Honestly I’m still in a respectable spot, knowing both the people as they were constantly dragging me in their fight. And I really want someone to be here with me as I have seen boss having a panick attack when ex employee couldnt arrive one day.
        For saturdays I will try to negotiate, I just need a solid reason l, an unavoidable excuse of why I cant come on Saturdays. But yea job hunt has to begin again asap!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I appreciate you getting concerned about me. Times have tought me to think about the worst n prepare for that. So I’m prepared for the worst already. I get surprised when people turn out to be better han my expectations lol


  2. Not knowing the entirety of the situation, I can only add that it’s truly sad that people are living such insular lives, uncaring, unconcerned uninvolved in what happens to others. Lack of respect consideration and $ as the bottom line are predominant issues. Hang in there, your doing fine, keep doing what your doing, eventually the world will right itself. I live in hope anyway!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sadly this is the situation of economy and job market right now. Employers have to cut expenses to at least sustain and unfortunately they think its wise to cut salaries or fire people “who are not adding value”. Brutal times.
      I have lost hope in world. I was thinking about Forrest Gump, how he would just keep moving in life, accepting every opportunity. That’s what I’m doing.


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