Of all the things I have lost I miss my mind the most..
When I look up this quote, it’s hard to track the origin of these words. But I clearly remember the last person who said it.
The last person who would repeat it often. And quote reminds me of him.
He was a dear friend who was on zoloft, back in the day around 10 years back I didn’t know what Zoloft was and I had no idea what I was having on regular basis is called anxiety.
My friend was one of the closest friend in that time. He had his own battles that I knew about but I never understood his coping mechanisms, that were drinking, smoking, self-harm and drugs.
I would fight with him to quit all of that, sometimes he did, some times he lied.
When he would go out of control his parents would dump knew stash on Zoloft on him.
One day I looked up Zoloft and I was horrified to say the least. I told him all the side effects and he just smiled and should me his weirdly sweating palms. The side effects must be hitting him for a long time.
Then I added Zoloft to the list of things I would tell him to quit.
He was a creative soul. We were so similar we would say God made a mold, first he created him, and then he created me from the same mold and put a wig on it.
He was judged, obviously. One of the people you are told to stay away from.
Oh his other favorite quote was
“i am not evil I’m just misunderstood”
For last few days I keep remembering these words.
And I was thinking, yes I do miss my sanity. I miss my mind that didn’t have to overthink to survive.
Adult life sucks guys.
But then I think about him. I didn’t even know why he was taking that medicine and who prescribed it.
We are quick to judge people. We only understand when shit happens to us.
Sometimes it gets hard to support a person like that because then all the fingers start pointing at you.
Again. The reason we all need to talk about mental health more.
Everyday gives me one more reason to stay on this journey of whatever I can do to help spread mental health awareness and give validation to the people fighting this invisible battle, which is no more invisible.
It’s in our face, it’s everywhere.
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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.
Copyright © 2020 stoneronarollercoaster – All rights reserved
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Here’s the link to my debut poetry collection => Swinging Sanity
Here’s the link to my post about the book – All About Swinging Sanity
Stoner on a rollercoaster 
Sanity seems overrated, but then again I would not know. I’ve never been sane. Seems boring to me.
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I had a friend who harped on me endlessly about not needing meds, big pharma and the doctors had brainwashed ,me and I eventually wore down and quit my meds. I felt great the first couple of months.
Then I went down the drain and the so called friend went away cos I wasn’t fun anymore and needless to say…I can live with being called a dupe of big pharma and doctors because my condition is chronic, like it or not. I ,must be medicated and I am hoping one day I will need fewer meds. Right now, survival is all I can focus on, though, even if it takes 20 pills a day.
I”ve gone off my meds several times and every single time, I end up down the drain. Comes a point where even “I am a badass, I can do this without their stupid pills” mentality isn’t enough.
Can you imagine if society told diabetics to stop testing their blood and taking their meds and just ‘think more positively to regulate their blood sugar”?
Odd how few people can draw a parallel there, but as you said, it is in our faces.
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This is a poignant post. I hope your friend is okay. Depression and anxiety can be a lethal mix.
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