Your trauma, trauma.
My trauma, drama?
I read this somewhere and it hit the right spot so hard I had to finally write this long-awaited piece about victim-blaming.
And here, and going to talk about most subtle form of it.
We get into an accident, get physical mental and emotional impact. Then we deal with future consequences too. All we want is to heal and get better.
One thing we don’t want is getting blamed for our own pain when our mind and body is already dealing with the injury.
Then why don’t we want the same for others?
Life does get tragic at times.
We have to face some or other unfortunate events in life, we are not in heaven. One day it’s happening to someone else, the next day it will happen to us.
Especially if you want to do something with your life or you are not a trend-follower and challenge the norms, things are going to be harder for you. Then if you are hurting and you share your pain and someone judges you, this multiplies your existing damage.
It takes courage to speak up, to share what you are going through, to ask for help!
If your problem is belittled on the first step, you question your strength; Am I weak? Did I make a joke of my problem? Did I over-react? Did I over-shared?
Next, you shut up and try to live with your own problem or try to sort it on your own. There is no problem with that, except you feel alone, you doubt yourself, you stop trusting people and when you block yourself and the problem festers.
You are pushed into repair when you tried to help yourself.
Maybe it will make you stronger to deal with your problems but you develop major trust issues.
Sometimes we don’t want people to solve our problem we just want them to be present when you are trying to heal.
But when you are told by them it’s a drama, not trauma.. you feel bad about yourself.
Remember when you were a kid and got hurt and when you when to someone older and they said, “it’s nothing”?
That’s where this whole culture starts.
It’s not a nothing!
It’s something that has caused pain and you not being present is telling that child you don’t trust them and you don’t care.
I’m not an angel. I’m sure I must have done this in past or thought on the same lines. But there’s something called maturity.
This cruelty is casually inherited to the next generation and most time’s we don’t even acknowledge it.
You are not a superhero you can’t be there for everyone but can you just stay quiet? This shouldn’t be hard.
It’s worse than actually not being there because when you are there and belittling a person you are representing everyone they would ever think about asking for help.
The victim will lose the little confidence they had.
If you don’t believe someone’s story, just don’t say anything.
Don’t shut their options for getting help from somewhere else.
Nobody likes to get hurt, nobody enjoys their problems being publicly discussed, nobody enjoys pity.
If you can’t offer compassion, please offer nothing.
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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I am inviting Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.