Extremely Sad

I don’t know how to begin this post. I don’t know which loose end to grab this time.

I’m visiting family (in Karachi, Pakistan) it was a very urgent trip. And then came rain..breaking record of 90 years.

I don’t know anyone who doesnt like rain, its one of the most romantic, calming most lively thing that can happen.

But here it brought absolute devastation

I wish I was exagerating.

A thunderous spell that lasted for few hours left everyone without electricity, mobile network, internet, even homes.

We were lucky one who still had their homes.

Most of the city was flooding with a mixture of rain and sewerage water.

One whole day we were completely disconnected from anyone outside. Thankfully i wasn’t alone, i don’t know what i would do.

But, by the end of the day i was dangerously numb. I could barely hear anything and i don’t know what i was looking at. And i was tearing up every now and then. Jokingly my brother said “it’s time, she needs her next injection”.

It was an embarrassing sight untill I granted myself i full-fledge bathroom meltdown.

I felt I’m just being too sensitive for crying on the condition of my city untill my cousin called and I heard her cry.

She isn’t in Pakistan anymore and where she used to live, nobody could step out.

Walls collapsed, people drowned or got electrocuted, there are casualties everyday I’m horrified to look at tv because a glimpes left me with unsurmountable heartache. Roads have literally vanished from few places.

We are in a safe spot. We still didn’t lose something so far Alhamdolillah.

But when you look at people crossing lakes of filth with their little leftover possessions (sometimes only a blanket) balanced on their heads, you wonder where the fuck is your tax going? What happened to all the donations g0vt. take from literally everywhere!

I know. I have seen curruptipn first hand. We have been a secret tiny hand in the fight against it, we didn’t win tho, obviously.

But what now?

Any slightest help people get are from fellow citizens, organizations or individuals. Most individuals struggle to feed themselves, they have to cut a chunk of their own comforts to help someone else.

We bore the impact of covid because of charity (zakat and sadqa).

Any money given to g0vt. Lands in their own pockets.

This is not how things should be.

This is unfair to everyone.

It was sadly comforting to hear my cousins trembling voice. At least I’m not alone who feels this way.

Last few days have been heavy on the city and everyone.

It’s tragic to see your home falling apart after something that could be benefiting us.

I love my city. I grew up here.

Last few days I have gone from angry to numb to tired and deeply hurt.

I don’t know why I’m whining here but honestly i could do this for days and still feel sad.

We are just waiting for nature to do it’s thing and evaporate rain water.

Maybe I should stop or I will never.

Take care guys. And remember us in prayers.

P.s. sorry for typos and errors.

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