Chaos chaos too much chaos.
I hope this melatonin works tonight or i wont be walking on my own legs. Dont ask what’s the connections between legs and sleep i have hit extreme levels of being busy and exhausted.
I can totally beat a bee at being busy. Thats how crazy it is.
Everyone was waiting for me with their own lists to discuss stuff or get stuff done..i wish i had clones!
At one point i finally made a list to show them.. like your turn will come after i do this one thing.
I secretly love it. My hero complex kicks in. But mf*** it exhausting af!
But satisfying too.
Dad isn’t well.
Sis had her final submission.
Home is a disaster.
And dad.. will talk about it some other time. We are affraid he is pre-manic again.
Feels great to be usefull in some way.
This is so weird idk how i always end up here unplanned whenever they need me. Idk how this happens, but it always always does!
At this point in life i cant care about what shitiness people have planed out against me. Or what they do behind my back. Some people don’t know any better.
I have been abandoned by people i trusted the most so i have zero expectation from anyone. It’s a blessing in disguise.
I look at my monkeys struggling so much. When i was their age, our parents were there. Now they have to take care of themselves and dad and home.
I just.. i feel bad for these kids. I never had to worry about what i will eat because mom would just randomly shove food in our mouths. It was always some juice or shake or a handfull of nuts or a slice of some fruits. I dont remember peeling fruits much, she did all of that.
May God reward them for the harships they have to endure.
So, if im here for them. Its comforting to me more than it’s any help to them.
I love my crazy family.
Take care. Need to recharge.
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