What do you do when something is burning in your apartment building.
There’s firetruck and probably an ambulance (i couldn’t really see)
Entrance and exit is blocked so clearly there’s something serious. Security was diverting traffic away from building.
But fire alarm hasn’t even hissed yet!!
Our fire alarms are crazy, you get a little more passionate with cooking and alarm start screaming like its doomsday!
I called reception, nobody picked…surprise!
Then i called Sam. Oh she was actually already on call my mental health has been a shitshow lately and i was in the middle of anxiety attack.
I was updating her live and she told me to go out and check and there was nobody in the corridor.
And i heard beeps of elevator, so it was functioning, which doesnt happen when there fire.
Emergency exit is just next to my door i could start running downstairs but i didn’t feel it was wise thing to do.. if they had to evacuate building fire alarms would have gone off long ago. What if fire was somewhere in between the exit.
I wore my stole, and grabbed my bag (dont do that, i had time) and i already had phone..sam was with me throughout.
Then drama began.
I told her … look you are here in my final few hours..
So this is how it ends, not with a bang but with a whimper..
Then we both kinda lost it.
We were stress laughing, cracking jokes.
The realization that we are completely demented weirdos was helping us cope with the confusion.
My mental health has half crippled me.
There’s so much pain inside me sometime i feel like screaming untill my voice dies. Or sometimes i feel i will actually start crawling on the walls or wont be able to even stand up.
I can feel it on my skin, the crawling and burning the feeling of 20 needles pricking you at once. It’s maddening.
But i have such amazing friends by my side, God just sent them to me like… here you are going to have miserable life but I’m giving you few angels to help you.
I don’t know what friends are for people. But for me they literally keep me alive. I wouldn’t be able to make it if i didn’t have friends who didnt let me crash.
Nothing happened. Things calmed after few hours.
Oh did i tell you it was my last day in that apartment.
I moved to a new place today. But same building..lol
But check this view guys
Reminds me of my old home where i could see full sunset but this one is nice too.
Pictures can’t do justice to what it looks like in real but might take out camera and take better pictures.
And guess what i unpacked first..my books!! Surprise..
Well. Its a wild rollercoaster ride. October is worst month for me and it doesn’t get easier no matter what. I have too many reasons to hate this month, worst being i lost my mom this month. It just burns me alive everytime. She was in my hands!
This cursed month landed me in ER for crippling migraines last yr, never had those before.
This time im just trying not to fight it and let it pass.. as i mentioned in earlier post. I will just lay on the shore and let the storm pass.
Life doesn’t get easier, and sometimes it doesn’t even make you stronger. Only makes you psychotic.
But i got to know there are people who genuinely care about me and that’s everything.
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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.