I thought maybe I have healed to some extend, maybe I actually have.
I don’t know why I suddenly feel cold and numb, like everything has come to a sudden halt.
Conversations are just getting harder for whole family, you can hear their voice trembling and breaking even though we all try extremely hard to stay strong for each other.
Today, I just don’t know.
I feel frozen. I can’t move.
I don’t know what made me look for posts 3 years back. I don’t know what was I looking for.
I didn’t know how to find whatever my heart was searching for so I wrote word cancer.
And I found this post (https://stoneronarollercoaster.com/2017/10/14/the-small-pebble/) I did 3 years back here, and guess what, it was today, 14 Oct 2017.
She had been battling for 2 years and I had been blogging for around a year but I just couldn’t gather strength to bring it up.
This whole month is anniversaries of one trauma after another.
Whoever said time helps, was wrong.
I don’t know what to do with this scary silence.
I started writing and this is what I did..
Might complete it some day
But honestly it feels like my own system is abandoning me.
I read comments under that post and it did stir my heart and I felt that searing gush of pain running through me, but nothing. No tears.
Its like this whole tornado keeps whirling inside me totaling my strength, and me.
It’s like a giant glacier, frozen and still.
Idk what i’m doing here. If your have your parents you don’t know what you have…