A lot and Nothing

A lot has been going on and in the middle of chaos suddenly you stop and feel nothing at all.

My baby sis got engaged 3 days back. I wasn’t there and it was so overwhelming for me I couldn’t even talk to her for 2 days. I did make short calls. I was afraid I might burst out crying. She is like a daughter to me.

And I was afraid about what’s going to happen now. Life’s too cruel. These life changing moments scare me. I keep reminding her about reality of life, no matter how hard it is. Because when expectations break, you break.

I can see her dreams shatter. She is a dreamer and a lovely person, she can’t say no. This scares me.

Then 2 days back I finished revision of my 2nd course and I thought I would do things that make me feel good.

I had some cherry tomatoes that I just let shrivel and basil seed from my own plant that dried out long ago when I was away.

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I m trying to germinate seeds, I don’t have high hopes but it can be a pleasant surprise.

Did some decluttering.

And today I make shrimp toast for myself with this cute Petit Pain (i don’t know why I find this name funny)

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Shrimp toast with sweet chili sauce was something I have been craving for a while.

WhatsApp Image 2020-11-18 at 5.01.30 PM

It turned out amazing!

And then there was that buzz.

Static

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I stopped and felt nothing, even though I have been keeping myself really busy (As usual) because that’s how my system works. I have to go in overdrive or I go numb.

This static is temporary and I will be fine, when I will do something else.

Actually Sam asked me to write here, she thought this will help.

How does a normal brain work btw?

What do you guys think when you are not doing anything?

I do have a long list but at the moment numbness has fogged my mind.

Maybe it’s not a bad thing. Our braincells need a breathe sometimes.

..

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

You can find my poetry collection here=>  ss ebook 2020 small

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