Curious Case of Overdrive

Is it just me or anyone else is also suffering from this curious case of overdrive?

2020 is going to end soon, except if we God-forbid face another disaster that would made it feel like a whole year all over again..

So, maybe my mind is playing that shitty trick again where it keeps telling me “you haven’t done enough, and time’s running out”

Because I can’t stop.

I have to do everything asap! It’s like I’m dying tomorrow.. well I should check my will too.. oh I don’t have one lol. Because for will you need to have wealth.

And I have verbally told Sam she can have my art and book, I don’t care about the rest tbh.

So I’m just in fast forward, and its exhausting AF!!

Talking about exhausting…oversharing hangover is also exhausting btw.

Oversharing hangover is real guys. It’s a massive uncontrollable projectile vomit where you just can’t filter the contents (gross, I know, I’m sorry)

And then you are sitting by a random wall looking around and wondering… why the f**k did I do that?

Was this even required?

Are they going to judge me?

Do I look like a bad person?

Or do I look like an attention seeker playing victim?

Are they going to tell someone?

Did I make other people look bad?

So yea. Thursday, that happened. And it was traumatizing.

I had fever and headaches (because that’s what happen when I cry like I have to irrigate a desert)

Then my friend told me to push myself and get up a little or I will be in bed till next year. Which is in a few days literally but yea..

But a little… there’s one thing I could never teach myself, that’s a little!

I don’t know what’s a little.

For me everything is A LOT!!

So I jumped up and have been in fast forward mode since then.

I am working extra, I’m eating extra, working out extra too (as much as I can, there was a time I thought I might just sleep on the mat), but I’m not sleeping extra too.

Welcome back insomnia!

There are new lists and notes and I’m crossing them like it’s a competition.

I know it’s not healthy. We are not robots, but I can’t stop myself.

If I try, I will regret wasting few minutes per day.

So yea.. that’s that.

Have a nice Sunday.

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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