you can totally skip this post. i just had to let it out of my system.
I wrote a very long version of this post and then realized it would be torture for you guys so I will do a shorter version right now. Might post torturous one later.
For at least a year i have been writing alot. Sometimes 2 3 drafts a day. But do you see them??
Becuase i was doubting myself.
Something would always tell me those draft wrrent good enough or incomplete.
And when i don’t let things out, they keep simmering under the surface and take another form.
My anxiety has worsened and i didn’t know what to do.
All this time i didnt know what’s happening to me. There are multiple reasons behind why i lost confident in myself. But writing here would be my therapy.
I have been feeling very low and not good enough for anything untill i actually realized what’s been happening.
I have started to sort out things.
It’s hard when when you are stuck in a web.
I got too stuck in real life problems i forgot im as human as anybody else, and far more sensitive than most.
It was bound to take a toll.
I just need to organize myself mentally and pace myseld better.
And have to stop being to critical of myself.
Nothing has gone that wrong. It’s self-inflicted mental improvement.
So. Have to let go a little, and stop being hard on myself.
Have to stop leaving things in the middle just because of self doubt.
After all you guys have never judged me.
Or never belittled me. I have only gotten validation, appreciation and freedom to be myself here.
Its more of a self talk.
I have to stop worrying too much.
My anxiety is through the ozone these days. And its wi harm me now.
I have just 2 3 hours of lectures left in my revision of paper 3 (there are 14). And this is quite and achievement to accomplish on your own.
Have to do something abour selling some books.
Havent marketed my book in a long while..therefore no sales in months.
Oh. Im getting second jab tomorow. Lets see how that goes.
Well. Looks like you will be seeing alot from me in your reader in coming days.
May God gove you guys patience to deal will that lol.