Be the Person You Idealize

Few days back, I was having random conversation with my friend C  and somewhere in the middle she said

“ My opinion, is the only opinion that should matter to me” and

“ The only person I should try to impress, should be me, myself”

These are the strongest, most impactful words I have heard recently.

The moment she said that I was like..wait…

It was one of the times when you are reading a book and few lines stand out so hard the rest of the book blurs out completely.

Being a peoples’ pleaser can turn into a slow discrete suicide without even us realizing it.

We don’t even notice when we get so immune to living according to everyone’s opinion that we lose our own individuality.

And in the end nobody is happy.

People who need your sacrifices to be happy, can never be happy with anything at all because clearly they aren’t even trying to do that for themselves.

I knew all of this before.

But this time my mind started operating on a new track.

There’s a certain person (imaginary) that I like. There are traits, style, choices and opinions that I admire in a person but did I try to implement those on myself?

Did I strive to even be my own ideal person?

I don’t think so.

Because I was busy living the way people wanted me to be just because that’s how we grow up. We are raised with this bullshit idea that we have to fit in perfectly in the fucked up checklist random people carry. Most times we are not even related to those people, it’s a collective mindset. The culture!

Even though in a place where I wasn’t in their vision field I was in an inertia. I wasn’t trying to change things for myself.

There are a few things I pursued that I always wanted to pursue but there’s still a long way to be that imaginary woman I admire.

And all opinions ever did was breaking people.

Breaking their morale, their confidence, their minds.

Open instagram and read comments under the most harmless picture of anyone. You will always find a loser who is sitting behind screen with popcorns, spewing venom to feel good about themself.

I feel sorry for these losers who have to say something negative just to feel better about themselves because they are not even trying to fix their own shitty lives. It’s nothing more than jealousy.

MY heart goes out to people who have brilliant ideas but nobody gives them a seat on the table.

Why don’t we look for a different table or build a small one for our own opinions and ideas.

There’s nothing more attractive than individuality, at least to me.

therefore, I am on it now.

It can’t happen overnight but I keep reminding myself these two important lines, and that’s helped me through some small shitty situations.

Because at least half of the world is just assholes (sorry for my language, and they don’t even need a reason to belittle and humiliate others. No point in even trying to waste your energy on them.

Sometimes just do the bare minimum (because you can’t always avoid these people) and then get on with building yourself the way you want.

Believe in yourself and be the person you idealize.

..

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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22 thoughts on “Be the Person You Idealize

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  1. Unfortunately, those words in the unconscious mind tend towards the “me me me” generational drift and the narcism we now have plenty of in our social media platforms. To be wise is sensible and caring as much towards yourself as to others. it does not mean we have to like everyone. How you said there are plenty of assholes around who take advantage of one’s emotional generosity , still one does need to nurture the sensible site of humanity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No no no. not at all encouraging selfishness.
      I don’t have a personal social media account, any social media account I have are related to my art and writing.

      You summed it up perfectly well “To be wise is sensible and caring as much towards yourself as to others”

      I just wanted to say we are attracted towards certain trait in other but we don’t work towards building the same in ourselves.

      I think I failed to explain.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I admire your courage in voicing this out. This allows me to find solace in your writing. You are right. The world is too noisy with all the ego competitions. We should take a break, find an escape and reconnect with our deepest potential. This needs efforts and it is a form of self love, not selfishness. We cannot pour from an empty cup. I wish you great strength to continue blossoming 💖

    Liked by 1 person

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