Beyond devastated

I just saw notification that it’s my blog’s 5th anniversary. But today is such a hard day.

We lost C, one of my closest dearest friend who gets mentioned here too but I we both chose to reserve her identity.

I got the news last night and it’s… I can’t even explain the painful emptiness im having. It’s maddening.

I came here to write because this is where we met. She contacted me in 2018 and became a very important part of my life. It’s like we started talking and we never stopped. 

She was one of the most beautiful things that happened to me here now she is gone… 

I can’t stop hearing her voice and can’t stop waiting for her message.

I’m just broken. 

61 thoughts on “Beyond devastated

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  1. I am so sorry you lost such a close friend. One of my besties was told she is riddled with cancer recently. She is being so strong, but I am heartbroken at the prospect of losing her soon. So deeply sad. But she has such a strong faith. I admire her so much.

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    1. C’s mom is fighting cancer.
      Since i lost my mom to cancer i would hide alot of reality from her.
      nobody imagines we would lose her. she was so strong she picked me up in my darkest times. idk what to do without her. im so anxious all the time.

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      1. I know the feeling. I went to 19 funerals in the past 3 months. Be safe, take care of yourself and try to keep some positive thoughts on you at all times. It’s scary times, sweetie. You must keep your head up.

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      1. I’m so sorry. That’s really all I can say. I wish I could fix it for you. The depth of your pain is a reflection of your capacity for light, but knowing that doesn’t help as much as one would think when there is grief ❤️️

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