I don’t know how am I going to move on with my life. Minutes and days pass by and I feel time has stopped for me. And it’s painful.

I’m living but not living completely without her. I desperately want to hold on to her voice in my mind and when it starts to fade it freaks me out. I’m terrified of losing her, even though we have lost her already.

It seems I keep on losing people. It’s scary.

She would understand my anxiety and help me through it I would call us “last 2 anxious brain cells” and now I’m just this scared anxious mess with no idea where to turn to.

All my feelings are so tangled I don’t understand what’s happening.

I couldn’t be more grateful for her mother to help me with her kind words. I can see from where C got her kindness from.

I find little solace in the fact that C and I, both were very open and vocal about our feelings for each other. We would frequently tell each other how much we loved and cared about one another and how grateful we were for our friendship.

This one thing gives me a little comfort. Just a little.

Can you please do this too? For yourself

Nobody knows who will be next. C was my age and she is gone so suddenly.

Can you please tell your loved ones what they mean to you?

Tell them how grateful you are for their presence and tell them what you truly feel for them.

We communicate dislike with far more ease than love.

Please do this for them and yourself. 

21 thoughts on “😢

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  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. Unexpected losses are the hardest, I think. I’ll be praying you find comfort in knowing she’s in perfect peace, where there’s no pain or sorrow.

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  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, it’s very painful to lose a loved one. I lost my parents and son in the same year and within months of one another. It is very important that we let our loved ones and friends know how much they mean to us when they are still with us.

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      1. Thanks. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. 2019 was a very painful and tough year but we had the love of God, the presence of Jesus and the comfort of the Holy Spirit as well as the support of family and friends to carry us through. I pray that in the midst of your pain that you will find peace and comfort.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. for us 2017 was like that, we lost 3 family members (mom, grandpa and uncle). i think we are still not fully over that year it took a heavy toll on all os us. and now this..
        thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers. please pray for C too.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. When a loved one passes suddenly, it’s the most difficult because you didn’t get to say goodbye. My last husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly and I feel your pain. Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏💐


  4. I’m so sorry. Death is hard, sudden even when it’s not. The phrase “moving on” is a tricky one, it implies that there’s a point we can get to where the grief isn’t. We just get used to the hole after time, and the pain gets mellow. I’m sorry you have to go through it again. You’re in my thoughts 💓

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Moving on is so tricky. i always thought that grief becomes part of your life and i agree, i thought you gradually get used to the hole. but i don’t want to believe it. i can’t imagine her gone and leaving behind a hole. she has to be with me. it’s just too complex
      thanks for kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

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