Random but very important

To talk about mental health is one thing.

To suffer from a mental health problem is other.

But to live or deal with someone who has it is another personal little battle we have in our minds, which can be really hard to win at times.

With a lot of sudden changes at home (all good ones) it did overwhelm Dad. There were times i was losing patience, but i had to remind myself of the magnitude of his battle. Even tho it takes a few hours for his temper to fizzle out and then he is visibly riddled with guilt.

You have to remind yourself it’s not him. People are far worse as a human and as a father without any disorder.

Then I am working with this guy, who is one grade above me and is given this task to superwise me. Explaining his overall personality will be wastage of time and it’s irrelevant. The important is that the guy is struggling with something and its a common knowledge. Since he is the nicest guy here everyone kinda works around his issues. Everyone says things like “he has his own issues but whatever he does isn’t intentional, he is not evil”.
Im glad thats how people think about him rather than taking advantage of his situation, which is very convenient.

I have had a ton of problems just because of his constant confusion and communication problem. But again, you have to remind yourself. I don’t know how long I can do this. I’m affraid one day I might snap, but I try.

About my own anxieties. Work isnt even giving me time for that. Yesterday i got home, ate when to bed and wasnt even laying when i fell asleep. Woke up in the middle had a biscuit laying next to me, set alarm, booked my ride and fell asleep again! Listening to a true crime show.

And btw I’m somebody who used to struggle with insomnia…

I like it. At least I can sleep.

Again there’s so much i wanna say, but typing it on my phone with few stolen minutes in the middle.

Oh, guys, please do check my mental health reblogs. And do visit the original posts. They all are worth reading. Please give your precious few minutes to these stories, you won’t regret it.

In the end i will just say, please be kind to everyone and yourself.

P.s. The feature image is a page from my work notepad. This is what happens when you are a lot of things at once.

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

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30 thoughts on “Random but very important

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      1. Lol!!! I can’t remember if I read Helter, Skelter (with crime scene photos in the middle) or The Stranger Beside Me…
        Obvious suitable reading for a 12-year-old, according to mom.
        Honestly though, the previous year my friend was murdered by a 14-year-old neighbor kid. She disappeared on a Sunday and was found on Wednesday (while we were at school), in the woods where we played.
        I think that this is where my true crime passion began.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. For a small group of classmates maybe like 60 kids, most of whom have spent the last 7 years together, it was so devastating and it was that brutal tangible awareness, that evil exists.
        I already knew from a previous experience in the neighborhood.
        He confessed to his girlfriend who had just broken up with him. He told her “look at what you made me do, this is your fault for not getting back together with me”
        Ya know the shit kids say to avoid being accountable for their actions.
        I already knew what it was like to lose a really good friend because my good friend Joey died from a brain aneurysm.
        A hard few years

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  1. Sounds like one of those usual days at work, organised chaos unpredictable emotional issues from your fellow workmates to deal with. You forgot to mention the available food and what is going on in your lunch breaks? What about gossip?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really try to bbe careful with this guy and try to ampathize with him, even tho it can be so hard at times.

      there is no avaiable food, you bring it or you order it. since its a consultancy/audit firm so we arent in the same place for a long time. some days I’m being healthy and eating well, others I’m on cookies and chocolates.

      and gossip is fun! my current team has too trainees who came before me and they talk! and they know everything about everyone. since I’m new here, they are my news channel.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a lot of wisdom in what you said. I grew up in a quite dysfunctional home. Where 5 out of 5 people living there was dealing with the effects of their own mental illness.
    I have always had a severe panic disorder and I have suffered from major depressive disorder. My twin brother was bipolar. My mother was very depressed and an alcoholic, my father suffered from depression and rage issues and at the center of that circus was my older brother, Chris.
    When I was 12, he suffered a complete psychotic break. He was fine (as far as a 12 year old knows) one day and the following day he was a 6′ 3″ man curled up in a ball underneath his boss’s desk, sobbing, shaking, and unreachable.
    My Mom, drove clear across Portland, as his employer called having no clue what had happened. She got down onto the floor and began talking to him, and after more than 90 minutes, he finally crawled out.
    My brother died that day.
    He was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, in the early ’80s, the doctors would throw pills at him. But nothing worked and our healthy family unit, never talked about any of it.
    I could tell you stories for weeks, maybe years, (truly just ask and I am happy to share) about how someone can shatter, and try as you might, especially if you are a fixer, you will never find all of the pieces.
    I was his favorite person in the world since I was born. He was nearly 13 years older and my hero. Over almost 4 decades, I have learned what affected me the most and worked to put myself back together, but my brother took his life just shy of 5 years later.
    I wanted to say thank you 😊 and I am looking forward to reading your mental health posts.
    God knows this world NEEDS to talk openly about Mental Illness. Please stay blessed my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg i’m just trying to find right words.
      I’m extremely sorry about all the struggles you went through from the get go. I can’t 100% relate, but i think i know i little (just a little), with family history of mental health issues.

      I’m extremely sorry for your brother’s loss. May his soul rest in peace. Ameen.

      i don’t even know what else to say, but i must say you must be such a strong person. i can’t even imagine…

      one day our father left home during an episode and we thought we will never find him back. we almost lost him.

      I’m proud of you for pulling through all of that and being kind and compassionate enough to share your story. Thanks for being here and thanks for sharing. I’m sorry I’m still not able to find words. please take care of yourself and know there are people like you and me and so many others here who are trying to raise awareness. things will get better.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much.
    So, So, SO much therapy!!!
    It was a lot of hard work to do my best to change my life for the better.
    Just continuing to breathe can be difficult. I have got a great psychiatrist that has helped find a working combo of meds that have helped immensely.
    Please, you don’t need to be sorry.
    I just want to do my little part to leave the world a tiny bit better than when I got here.
    I am always trying to find a positives.
    That is scary with your dad, I am glad he is ok. I understand how hard life can be with someone mentally ill.
    After my mom got my brother to the house, he put on some of my dad’s pj’s and left me with instructions on not letting him leave the house. He was asleep on the couch and she needed the 5 minutes as she went to pick up my dad from the bus stop.
    4′ 8″ 55 lbs me, not a chance in hell.
    Of course he woke up. He tore through the house looking for my mom.
    I Was following him saying that She

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    1. be right back w/dad and he bolted out of the front door, barefoot, and no shirt in very loose light weight cotton pj’s and I had to jump on my bike to keep up with him.
      He was super panicked (something I would understand later in life) and I was bawling riding next to him, because I let him get out and I was going to be in for it.
      I had to turn around and ride home so I could show my folks where I last saw him.
      I was hysterical, and I wouldn’t be told what happened to him. Because kids were not intelligent human beings, we were not to informed on anything and simply to obey.
      How wrong that was…
      We have an entire generation that was never taught how to exist in the real world or handle real life decisions.
      I gave my kids enough knowledge to make through, age appropriate, and answered any question that they could come up with, with no subject at all being off limits.
      If they were thinking about it, and asking about it then they could handle it.
      Knowledge is power.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m grateful for this conversation there’s so much truth and power in it. I couldn’t agree more, we arent taught to deal with real wolrd problems. In my father’s case i was in another country and my younger siblings had to deal on the ground level and make all the decisions, 2 of them were still teenagers. but i’m proud of them for handling everything so well.
        We got an incredible team of doctors and therapist, they saved him and brought him back. he is doing well and on maintainance doses of medication. it’s a blessing he could come back mentally too, it was a serious case. he couldn’t deal with my mother’s loss.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And yes, sadly most of the work we have to do ourself, to save our life and sanity. every few days i have to make conscious efforts just to prevent going crazy (that’s what i feel)

        i don’t know what else to say. I’m really proud of you. and Thanks a lot for sharing ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I appreciate this conversation. If only to feel less alone, less “crazy” and more understood.
    I want you to know that there is someone on your side, that is here. I get the word “crazy” a lot of people find it offensive, but I also know when it feels like the only word that we can use to describe the madness inside. Stay Strong and Keep Fighting the Fight. You can always find me here ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. you are a lovely person. i have gotten the word crazxy all my life even for very logical and reasonable opinions. but this is life… if you are different, you are crazy. if you are brave enough to speak up, you are crazy. So let’s just stay crazy in our own unique beautiful way. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Always be yourself. Crazy 🤪 or not. The world needs all kinds. Imagine how boring the world be if we were all cookie cutter copies. Unique IS Beautiful!!! I think that you are delightful as well, thank you for the compliment.
    My whole life I have let fear keep me from doing – from sharing – from being vulnerable.
    Fear kept me frozen and isolated. I want to take the risk, and you are helping me with your kindness.
    Kindness has the power to save the world.

    Like

    1. Kindness definitely has power to save the world. It took me forever to be able to express myself and i still can only do it here.
      But you have to start somewhere.
      I literally would prefer crazy over boring at any given day.

      And being unique is beautiful, I’m glad the world is gradually learning that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey I am so not good at technical stuff but I am back with my dad, so my posts take SO much longer. I want to introduce myself on your Warriors for Mental Health from 2018 post…
        But I am not sure how.
        ALL day I have been trying to finish my post that shares your post so that my readers may be able to connect with the other bloggers who are listed.
        Can you tell me how (with 1st grade instruction) to do it?
        10 years ago I suffered an anoxic brain injury from long term lack of oxygen. I was in the hospital and they flooded my lungs with iv fluid and I drowned, went into complete respiratory failure and coded. Then spent 2 weeks in the ICU in a coma on life support.
        I suffer from short term memory loss and if I have it in writing I don’t have to keep asking- if that makes sense.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. there’s no rush, please take your time. you can tell me whenever the post is published. please don’t pressure yourself.

        none of us was good at technical stuff. we all learned it here only. 🙂

        to share mental health warrior post, you can draft a post like you normally would, and where you have mentioned that post select it and link it with the link of that post

        https://stoneronarollercoaster.com/2018/04/27/mental-health-awareness/

        you can find link button in edit text bar in your editer.

        hope i made sense lol.

        don’t worry i just need a little into of you and your blog. just few line. I will add that to the list myself.

        omg that sounds so scary. you almost came back from the end. your fought through and survived, it’s a miracle. May you have a healthy life ahead. Ameen

        that totally makes sense.
        please take care of yourself 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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