A sad sad ghost…

Update

I called her without thinking much ( as suggested by some of you guys, i just love you people)

She is doing better, was going to see her friends. She herself started talking about how she was struggling and i listened and then i was talking and we both were talking about whats going on recently. didn’t have to bring mental health specifically.

Thank you so much for encouraging to make this call! i needed somebody to push me a little.

Thank you!

…………….

So

I met all my first cousins after years and it was fun and all.

But we all left that place with a ghost hovering over us that’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

A cousin of mine, literally the prettiest girl in our family was going through depression and anxiety for the last 2 months. She told us “I haven’t been anywhere in a long while, I just got up and drove here I don’t know why”

We all were happy to see her she is a lovely person.

If her struggle wasn’t painful enough, she told dad she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and she is under treatment for the last 4 months.

When dad told that to me and my brother, for an eternity there was this sad and eerie silence between us.

Our hearts were crushed, she is a really sweet person.

Telling her whole story here isn’t going to help, but the bottom line is, that she when through hell and didn’t get the support she deserved.

I’m thinking of calling her but it’s a hard call. 

I don’t wanna be like … hey I heard this about you.

I just want to tell her she is not alone and that she can always reach out to me.

But idk how to bring it without hurting her.

I was thinking, since she doesn’t know that I have moved here, she thought I’m just visiting. So maybe that’s where I can start the conversation. 

Like just calling to let you know that I’m here now… and she did tell me about depression, so maybe use that and say that you can always reach out???

I’m really worried.

Still, thinking about what to say… any ideas?

If I go around everywhere claiming to be a mental health advocate but I don’t go on to help my own cousin, I would be the biggest hypocrite.

I was saved by people and their kindness and support. I wish everybody could have it.

..

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Kindly visit my post Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness where I invite Mental Health Warriors to submit their blog’s address so that we can join hands to control this wildfire.

You can find my poetry collection here=>  ss ebook 2020 small

30 thoughts on “A sad sad ghost…

Add yours

  1. Two things that came to my mind after reading this.
    1.How often has it happened with us that we pick up the phone to talk but don’t know whom to talk to? Many many times I guess.
    2.Why is it sometimes easier to share our innermost feelings with a complete stranger than someone closer?. It is because the stranger wouldn’t judge us.
    Hi Sad to know about your cousin. I am not a doctor or a counsellor but may I suggest you something?Talk to her as much as possible…Just random things, without talking about depression.Sometimes people need to vent out their feelings which they have holding since long.They also do need time to open up.Give that time and patience to her without judging.
    You know stories have a great healing power if you tell them effectively. If you can, share some stories with her, talk about your childhood, friends, movies, songs….anything. Show her love, lots of it.Have patience and faith.She will be fine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. both the thoughts you had are something we all experience so often but find it hard to do something about it.
      being vulnerable here and yapping away is so much easier than talking to my struggling cousin. i don’t want to stay quiete this time.

      And your suggestion makes so much sense. we have tons to talk about i would try and stick with that rather than bringing mental health. really hope this goes well.

      Like

  2. I just recently lost my cousin to drugs and depression this month. Call your your cousin. tell her you love her and that you are thinking of her. Ask her what she doing today. That you wish you were there. there is no need to put a reason for your call in her head. just talk to her.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. thank you. it’s better to to talk than not to. if i had any idea what my cousin was going through i may have been able to help. But certain factions in my family like to keep me in the dark.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I literally jumped when i read about your cousin. I’m really sorry again.
        We have too many boundaries in our extended family and we are actually happy about it because then people mind their own business. But the drawback is, we do lack support when we need it. we hasitate to ask for help.
        Thank you so much!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Never, ever hesitate to reach out to someone who you suspect is in a bad space. Years ago, during a very, very dark time in my life I went to an early morning mass and just wept my heart out kneeling on the prayer bench. A woman named Monica whom I never met hugged me and comforted me. I will never, ever forget her; she had absolutely no idea what that moment meant to this hurting soul. . .She just sat with me, no judgement, no questions, she was there for me. . .Sister Issac. . .was there for me. . .These women helped me out of a dark space and. . .I am not sure where I’d be now if it were not for them reaching out. Please always make that phone call, always reach across the aisle. We are God’s hands on this earth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Something similar happened to me at Masjid-e-Nabwi (a holy mosque of us Muslims) i was crying inconsolable. I cried till i point where i couldn’t see and i woman came to consol me and she gave me a book of prayer. I couldn’t even see her.

      And my whole life is full of people just pulling me out of dark spaces.

      I agree. We are God’s hands on earth.

      I call my cousin regularly even if its a short call.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. God truly works through us. I still have the rosary that the lady named Monica gave me. At night, even now, I hold it in my hands when I pray to remind me that God is with me and that I am not alone. . . God is with us-God blesses us in so many ways. . .Have a beautiful week ahead. You are always in my prayers.. .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I suddenly remmeber about that book after your comment and I’m affraid i left it when i was moving. I always have rosary/tasbeeh on my bedside. Use it very rarely but i keep it there just in case…

        Thank you so much for your kindness and prayers 😊 i pray for all of you too.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Maybe you will find that again. I don’t like to move because I feel that I misplace things when I do, but maybe you packed the book in a box somewhere and will be able to recover it. I surely hope so, but the most important thing is that the words and the memory is in your heart.
        You’re very welcome. We are a community and are here to lift each other up. Have a blessed week.

        Like

  4. In our younger years, it is the fear of being stigmatised, of being different that holds us back to open up and seeking help for what is perceived by the mainstream as being dysfunctional. Because a young person wants to be like everyone else!
    However, one must question those standards what is perceived as ‘normal’ and in whose interest those standards are being set?
    As many have gone through questionable therapies, being told that they must adjust and maybe shed even parts of their personality that define them as themselves, society can be moulded into a homogenous body, easily manipulable, before they finally realised their individuality is being dismantled or distorted.
    The arts especially careers as actors and actresses offer a sanctuary for all those who prefer to be free from judgements and want to act out their true selves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Young person wants to be like everyone else because if they seem to be different they draw a target on their head. It’s just sad how cruel the world can be towards somebody with different opinions.

      Standards are set to always satisfy people in authority be it home, work or anywhere, no matter how nonsensical they are.

      I agree a 100%. Society cuts you for the standard mould rather than accepting your individuality. But what if our survival depends on it? A lot of times you don’t have choice.

      Blessed are those you can feed themselves by a career in arts and by being themselves…

      Liked by 1 person

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