I’m having an epiphany, so just talking out loud here.
I think, i brought upon the curse of “rollercoaster” in my life.
Sometimes the ups and downs can test you beyond your multiple thresholds at once.
You relive your old traumas and new ones are eched in your mind.
It’s like a huge wave that thrashes on your with full force.
And then it retreats.
But, no matter how big it is and how many times it hits you, it has to go back eventually.
Alot of things took a toll on me at once, last week or so.
There was one issue that’s been bothering me for a long time. I cried and prayed that it get sorted. I have found new hope. I will have to put up a good fight! But there’s hope.
I already have a plan, I need some supernatural strenght to execute it.
Just like almost everything in my life this is not gonna be easy. Pray God make things easier for me.
So. About the wave.
Have you heard that storms leave the land fertile and rich in minerals? I could be totally wrong here. But that’s what is aftermath of that huge wave.
You are left exhausted and shattered inside-out, but there’s something new in you.
Unbelievable endurance that wasn’t there before.
I never liked the quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you stonger”
It sounds like nonsensical glorification of traumatic events to me.
But hate to admit, it’s not entirely wrong.
It took me years and years to get out of one bad situation or other. My whole life has been a venn diagram of bad situation circles overlapping someother other bad situation circles.
Now finally I thought things are going to be easier with few circles removed.
But I’m still dealing with the rubble.
And now i think that’s what life is all about.
You are never completly able to eraze unwanted circles, and others keep replacing them.
This is how it is.